The Castle is Breached
by montez
Summary: My first attempt at a Castle fic-hope you're kind. Even when you're well prepared, something can go wrong. When it does who will be able to keep the House of Castle from crumbling?
1. Chapter 1

I screwed up guys.

Hey guys, I think I screwed something up and deleted the first chapter of my Castle Story; The Castle is Breached.

I was trying to edit a part someone had pointed out and totally forgot that I could just replace a chapter with the revised one. So I'm going to have to repost the whole story to fix the problem.

I really hope you guys don't totally hate me for doing this-I still hit wrong buttons without thinking sometimes and totally hate myself for this.

I really appreciate everyone who's been with me to this point and hate that I'm going to lose my current set of reviews, favorites and especially my over the top OMG you guys are awesome alerts.

I hope maybe you guys will alert me again and get us back to the nearly 50 I had before I screwed up.

I am so sorry for this mess up and am repeatedly hitting my head against the wall for it, but don't give up on me and hopefully I'll have this straightened out soon. Chapter six will be up soon too.

In advance I want to thank you guys so, so much for sticking with me and lets hope I can figure out a way to salvage this without losing everything.

Keep your fingers crossed!

Montez


	2. Chapter 2

**The Castle is Breached**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, though I wouldn't mind Castle bringing me coffee once in a while.

_A/N: Okay, This is my very first Castle story. Just discovered my love for the program a couple weeks ago and had a two day marathon with season 1 and 2. I love the subtle interaction between Beckett and Castle and how everyone seems to see it but them. For those who haven't read any of my other writings I'm a very emotional writer-I like to put my characters in situations and let the emotions rule the way. I know this has been done is differing variations before, but I hope you give it a chance.-Thanks, Montez_

**_Chapter 1_**

He had been shadowing his 'muse' for nearly three years now. At first he could tell she was really put off by his presence all the time, well more liked pissed off by his presence, but over time he had slowly won her over. Now, it was more than research, it was the rush he got when they would draw the same conclusion to a case, the thrill of all the pieces falling together almost as if it was an outline to one of his next best sellers. And yes he had to admit he got a high off of being with the detective when a take down happened, but mostly he loved being near her. Though he could never come out and tell her, for fear of getting shot, which she had threatened jokingly on many occasions, but something about being around her, it was literally a feeling he, a world renowned author, could not put into words.

The very first case they had worked was the copy cat killer he had that was taking murders in his books and recreating them. Detective Kate Beckett hadn't been happy when he was allowed to help on the case, but she had also learned quickly that Richard Castle didn't listen to anyone, not even a beautiful woman with a gun. Twice during that case she had ordered him to stay in the car during a take down, neither time had he listened. She'd even handcuffed him to the vehicle, to which he had pulled a cuff key from his wallet. Once free he gave chase when the suspect came down the fire escape not thirty feet from him. He took off after the guy, not really thinking about his safety, just knowing they couldn't let him get away.

What Castle hadn't been prepared for was the murderer getting the drop on him, holding him at gun point as Beckett slowly made her way toward them, ordering the suspect to drop his weapon. For a moment Castle had been terrified, but when he noticed the safety still on his bravado took over and he actually managed to disarm the man. But it was the anger and genuine fear he saw in Beckett's eyes once she had cuffed the man then roughly pushed him against the wall, yelling at him that he could have been killed. It was in that moment that he realized how true it had been. It was in that moment he knew if he was going to start shadowing the savvy detective he would have to take precautions; after all he had a daughter at home he needed to think about.

The next time he was allowed to come on a take down, he pulled out a Kevlar vest with the bright white letters spelling 'WRITER' across the front and back, much like hers which was emblazed with 'POLICE'. At first she took it from him with a roll of her eyes and tossed it back in the trunk as she turned to join the entry team. However he quickly retrieved it and put it on just like Ryan and Esposito had showed him. Rick then cautiously followed the team. After that it became accepted that Castle would follow the team, staying in the back, behind the entry teams, behind Beckett, Ryan and Esposito.

And so he had and that became the lineup during an entry; Beckett always in lead, much to Rick's dismay, followed by Esposito and Ryan, Castle bringing up the rear. This was the lineup as they entered the small house on the seedier side of town. They had tracked their murderers, and yes it was two working together this time, and were now in the process of entering the dwelling.

"NYPD, Drop your weapons now! Drop'em!" Beckett's voice rang out as the three armed officers formed a slightly staggered line across the entry way of the small kitchen of the home. Castle coming up behind as usual, clearly seeing past the detectives, his height giving him a slight advantage in seeing what was happening. The suspect closest to them was holding a gun, halfway raised; the second had his hands up, but was eyeing the gun clearly visible on the kitchen table.

Rick watched the men closely, not really listening to their replies to the officers orders, he had seen it before and the lines were always the same, 'you've got nothing on me', 'you can't prove anything' and the one he loved the most, 'I didn't do anything wrong'. So he just continued to watch body language, he was a very observant person. He had actually heard another officer one time mention that Castle could probably be a profiler if he was wasn't a writer. But to Rick, watching people had always been second nature, he was a writer and had always had an eye for detail. It was that eye that caught the slight movement of the second suspect, in what seemed like a fraction of a second that man lunged for the gun, Rick saw the muzzle flash as the suspect quickly brought the gun up, but he was surprised to not hear the shot and only faintly heard the three successive shots that followed.

Castle blinked a moment, '_why am I on my back?_' played in his mind as he studied the stained ceiling. He could hear Beckett shouting at the other suspect who had finally dropped his gun once he saw his partner shot. Raising his head slightly he could see Kate, her knee in the suspects back, cuffing the man as Esposito kept his gun trained on the man, Ryan kicking the gun from the hand of the now dead second suspect. Rick started to push his way up off the floor, still unsure how he had gotten there when a pain flared through his chest, a quiet intake of breath stopped him as he brought his left hand up, the tips of his finger brushing a frayed spot on is vest. Raising his head again he saw the end of his finger dip into the small hole in the middle of the 'W'. '_Damn it does feeling like getting hit by a sledge hammer'_, He remembered Esposito making the comment about how it felt to get shot in the vest.

Taking a second to pull in a painful breath Castle finally pushed himself up; the other's still not noticing him. Gritting his teeth as he breathed through the pain he used the wall to help him get to his knees. '_God this hurts' _he thought as he finally got one foot planted on the floor, getting ready to make the final push to stand up. It was then that Ryan finally turned around; quickly the younger man crossed the few feet between them, "Hey man you okay?"

Castle had made it to his feet, but it was more the wall than is own strength that was holding him up at the moment as another pain spread across his chest, stealing the small breath he had, his hand automatically going to the small hole. "Castle, were you hit?" Ryan's voice raised slightly getting Beckett's and Esposito's attention.

"Castle?" Kate's voice neared as she took in the pale, pain filled complexion of the author, as well as the obvious labored breathing.

Castle tried to smirk, but it came out as a grimace, "You were right," he looked at Esposito, "It does feel like a hammer to the chest."

His eyes met Kate's as his knees gave out, Ryan and Beckett both lunging forward to help control his descent down the wall. "Damn it Castle you were suppose to stay back." Kate laid her hand on the side of his face, the paleness seeming to grow. "Just take it easy and breath slowly, it takes a few minutes for the pain to ease, but you need to be checked, a hit to the vest can break some ribs."

Closing his eye's a second Castle nodded as Beckett looked over her shoulder to Esposito who had his phone in his hand, but was staring at the wall, "You calling for…" it was then she saw the fear in her fellow detectives face and her eyes followed his line of sight, coming to rest on the bright red streak on the wall that followed the path of Castle's descent. "Oh God…" she turned back to Castle, whose eyes were watching her closely. Kate slowly reached her hand toward his vest. He watched as fear filled her face, then looked at her hand, which had just brushed his vest, watching as she slipped it between the vest and his shirt. A hiss of pain escaped his lips as he tilted his head back against the wall, closing his eyes against the new round of pain that his adrenaline had been masking. Castle managed to open his eyes just as she removed her hand and brought it up between them, it was covered in blood.

"We need an ambulance now!" She shouted as Esposito seemed to snap from his trance. Looking at Ryan she ordered, "We need this off of him!" quickly the two officers pulled at the Velcro straps of the vest, only pausing a second when another quiet cry escaped their friend. "Castle, look at me." Kate was close to his face when he opened his eyes that he hadn't even realized he had closed, "I need you to stay awake. I have to put pressure on this and it's gonna hurt, but you have to stay with me okay?"

Rick could hear the hint of panic in Beckett's voice and wanted to do anything to take it away. Nodding slightly he barely whispered, "Okay." a sharp intake of breath and another moan of pain accompanied the pressure she applied, as the pain tried to steal his breath again.

"Helps on the way, you just need to stay awake." Kate spoke again, this time when Rick opened his eyes to look at her she seemed out of focus, the sound of her voice seemed muffled, like when you come out of a movie theater or loud concert. However he made every effort to listen to her this time, this time was different; he knew he needed to listen, to do what she was saying, because if he went to sleep he wasn't sure if he would wake up again.

That thought had never, in his life, entered his mind. He had always assumed he would be old and grey, Alexis would be a successful woman with a family of her own before he would have to leave her. Leaving her, that thought more than anything terrified him as it settled in his mind. He had been with her since day one, never leaving her side, she traveled with him, came to his book parties, had endured all his eccentricities, she was more of an adult at sixteen then he was at almost forty. She was his life, he didn't want to leave her, there was so much left to do, so much he wanted to experience with his little girl, graduations, her wedding, grandchildren, the merciless banter that they shared, how could he leave her? But somewhere in the back of his mind as the pain continued to radiate through him that is exactly what he feared was happening and even the great Richard Castle wasn't going to be able to charm his way out of this one.

"Open your eye's Rick, please." Kate's voice sounded so small, so frightened, so unlike Kate.

Slowly opening his eye's he tried to focus on the beautiful face that inspired Nikki Heat, the face he had found himself truly falling in love with and he could see tears in her eye's, though they had stubbornly refused to fall. "Alexis…" Rick whispered as he stared at Beckett.

"I'll go get her once you're on your way to the hospital, everything will be fine…" Her voice sounding stronger than she looked.

Licking his lips he blinked slowly as he pulled in another ragged breath, "Take care…of her…" His voice broke as pain flared again, his face almost translucent now.

"No, that's your job, she needs her father, you hear me? She needs you so don't you dare do this, you stay awake, stay with me." Beckett looked up at her fellow officer's, her voice husky with emotion, "Where the hell is that ambulance?"

A faint siren could be heard in the distance as an unnaturally strong pressure gripped her wrist. Her eye's meeting his determined blue ones, "Promise…please?" the last word breaking.

"I'll take care of her until you're better, that's the only option you got that Castle! You don't listen to me, but you damn well will this time, you're gonna be okay, you fight this, stay with me, got it!" Kate watched as his body slumped to the right, his head dropping slightly.

"You…know me…" Castle whispered as he barely brought his head up, unfocused eye's slipping shut, "never listen…"

"RICK!" Kate shouted as Castle's body slide the rest of the way over, Ryan moving quickly to help Beckett get him on his back. Her hand shakingly reaching for Castle's neck, Ryan watched as her face paled, a mumbled "no no no" escaping her lips as she frantically tilted the author's head back and leaned over to listen. "Damn it! You don't get to do this!" Ryan knew in an instant what needed to be done, he jumped to the other side of his fallen friend and watched as Kate blew two quick breaths into the unconscious man's mouth; Ryan then rose on his knees, starting the thirty compressions. At count Kate breathed again, Ryan repeated his set, he then watched as Beckett checked for a pulse, knowing there wasn't one when she leaned down to breath again, his set repeated.

Four sets were completed when the paramedic finally burst through the front door. Esposito pulling Kate back as the EMT's set about intubating Castle, forcing air into his still lungs. Ryan continued compressions until the second medic had attached the defibrillator pads, the small machine whining to life. The Paramedic yelled 'clear' as the three detectives watched Castle's body react to the electrical current. The three detectives stood watching the silent exchange between the EMT's as the machine charged again, their eyes never leaving the still form of their friend on the floor between them. On the second shock Kate actually flinched, Esposito's hand coming to her shoulder, a small amount of comfort as they stared at the man before them. "Got something, let's get moving!" one of the medic's shouted as the two worked in complete tandem, covering the still bleeding wound, prepping Castle and effortlessly getting him on the backboard then stretcher. Within moments the three officers were following the medics to the ambulance.

Kate wanted so badly to go with Castle, but she had promised him she would take care of Alexis and right now she needed to go and get the teenager from school and get her to her father. "Ryan go with him." Beckett order as the younger officer nodded and climbed into the back. Beckett and Esposito watched in silence as the doors were slammed shut and the sirens were activated, rushing their barely alive friend to the hospital.

Beckett watched as the ambulance rounded the end of the block, Esposito's voice broke the spell, "You need to get Alexis and we need to contact his mom." The Hispanic detective grabbed Kate's arm as he watched her pale, the tell-tell sign that she was about to be sick had him pulling her to the side, away from the other officers that had arrived on the scene. He stood patiently, a hand on her arm and back as she threw up what little she had eaten that day, most notably the coffee and bear claw Castle had brought her that morning.

Esposito looked up as a uniform officer approached, two bottles of water and a hand towel in hand, "Thought she could use these." The younger man said, the older detective nodding as he took the items, uncapping a bottle for Beckett.

She reached up to take it, only to double over again as her blood covered hands came into view. Once she stood again, Esposito took her hands, pouring water over them, the pink tinged water washing away some the blood, the towel helping remove the rest. Silently Beckett took the other bottle of water, taking a small sip, spitting it out, then taking a small drink, swallowing it. Without staying a word her eye's met her teammates, a silent thank you transpired as she brought the back of her hand across her mouth. "I need to get Alexis before the media picks it up." She spoke quietly as she turned and headed for her car, Esposito watching her retreat. He would stay behind to brief the other officers and meet them at the hospital.

Kate stoically walked to her car, pulling the door open she sat and turned on the ignition. It was then the dam gave way as the unnatural silence filled the vehicle. A silence that hadn't been there since the day Castle had started shadowing her. He was almost always talking, either about the current case, a current plot line for his book or about some random event in his life. But now it was silent and Beckett didn't like it at all, she hated it. Running her hand down her face she wiped away the tears that were falling, she needed to hold it together to get Alexis, so with a deep breath she put the car in gear and started her thirty minute drive to the teenagers school.

_A/N: Well, what did ya think? (Hidding behind desk awaiting the verdict)_


	3. Chapter 3

The Castle is Breached  
Chapter 2  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Pulling up in front of the private school that Castle's daughter attended made the knot in her stomach tighten. Closing her eye's a moment she took several deep breaths. Kate wouldn't do Alexis any good if she was a complete wreck herself, she needed to be strong for the young girl, she had promised Rick she would.

Opening the car door she slowly made her way across the parking lot and up the stairs. Straightening herself she pulled the doors open. To the right was the doors that led to the office, stepping to the counter she pulled her badge out and showed it to the secretary, "I need to speak with the principal please." A confused look crossed the woman's face before she nodded and stepped away, entering an office directly behind her. A few seconds passed before a middle-aged man emerged, "I'm Principal Crenshaw, how may I help you officer?" Kate noticed his confused look as well.

"My name is Detective Kate Beckett, may I speak with you a moment, privately?" Kate's eyes glanced at the clock on the wall, had it only been an hour since everything had happened. The principal's voice pulling her attention back to him.

"Of course." The man motioned her around the counter and into his office. Once closing the door the man turned, but Beckett spoke before he had the chance.

"I need to see Alexis Castle." Kate put her hand together in front of her to keep herself from fidgeting; not something she normally did, but today was anything but normal.

This time the man looked concerned, "Alexis Castle? May I ask why? She's one of our best students; I can't see her mixed up in anything involving the police."

"It's concerns…" Kate hesitated for just a moment, taking a deep breath, "It concern's her father, now please can someone get her for me."

Principal Crenshaw stood from his leaning position against his desk, "Of course…" Stepping to the door he asked the secretary to call the teen to the office. Turning he looked back at the detective, "Has something happened to Mr. Castle?" Kate could see the worry in the man's face.

"I'm afraid so, I've come to take Alexis to the hospital." Again Beckett had to take a deep breath to contain her own emotions that were so near the surface, she needed to stay composed, Alexis would be upset enough.

Kate was standing to the side of the door when she heard Alexis's cheerful voice carry in from the front office, '_God how did I let this happen?' _Beckett's mind screamed as she knew she was getting ready to break the heart of someone she cared about.

"I was told you needed to see me Principal Crenshaw." The teen's bubbly personality was soon to be deflated as Kate stepped forward.

"Alexis…" The wide smile the teen had on her face dropped away as confusion crossed it.

"Detective Beckett, what are you doing here? Is my dad okay?" Kate knew Alexis was a smart girl, wise and mature beyond her years, but in the moment the teen asked about her father, Beckett could only image what Alexis looked like at four years old, recalling a story Castle had told her about the child disappearing in a department store when she was four, only to be found over an hour later, curled up under a rack of coats, asleep.

"Alexis…" Kate stepped forward, an arms length from the girl, "There was an incident this morning and your dad…"

All the color seemed to drain from Alexis's face, both her hands coming to her mouth, her red ponytail bouncing back and forth as she started shaking her head no. "No, dad's okay right? He just has to talk himself out of some trouble right?"

Kate reached up and put her hands on the girls shoulder as the principal stepped a little closer, trying to offer support. "Alexis your dad had to be taken to the hospital, he was…" God how could she say it, but Castle had always told her that he was always open with Alexis; he didn't keep much from his daughter. "He was shot this morning." Kate felt a tremor go through her own body at saying it out loud.

"No…he's got that vest, like you wear. He had the thing special made so he would stay safe. He promised me it would keep him safe." Alexis's eyes were bright with tears now, her broken words seemed to run together, as the look on her face begged Kate to agree with her, to tell her that the stupid vest he had been so excited about had done it's job and kept him safe.

Kate shook her head slightly, "Listen to me Alexis, I need to take you to the hospital, I'll explain everything on the way, once we get a hold of your grandmother, but we need to be going, okay." Beckett was now nodding her head, trying to get the child before her to understand.

Alexis stepped back, her pace and motions becoming almost frantic, "Grams, oh God, she's across town at an audition…I need to call her, she needs to come too…my phone…" Looking around a moment Alexis realized she didn't have her jacket or purse, she just thought the principal needed to speak with her she didn't know, "I need my phone, it's…it's in my purse, in physic's class, I need to go get it…"

The teen turned toward the door as the principal spoke reaching for the phone on his desk, "I'll have your teacher bring up your things, I'll give you a Detective Beckett a minute alone." Stepping toward the door he turned to the upset teenager, "Alexis, I just want you to know if you need anything, we are here for you and your father."

Alexis could only nod as she watched him leave the room before turning back and looking at Kate, her voice sounding so much younger than her sixteen years. "He is alive right? My dad's not…" at that moment Alexis truly broke.

Pushing everything aside Beckett did the only thing she knew the girl need, she wrapped her arms around the teen and held her tight as Alexis mumbled into her shoulder, "He's got to be okay, we have plans this weekend, he never backs out. He would never do that to me…"

Kate ran her hand over the back of Alexis's hair, "He's not going to leave you, I told him he couldn't."

Beckett was surprised when Alexis chuckled through her sob, "But he never listens to you."

A broken chuckle escaped Kate in reply, "I think this time he knows he better."

A knock on the door announce the principal returning to the office, "Here are you things Alexis, I hope everything turns out okay."

With only a nod, Castle's daughter took her things and with Beckett's arm around her they quickly made there way to the car.

Once in the car Alexis pulled her phone from her purse, but just stared at it. The screen saver picture was one of her and her dad in their laser tag gear. "If you can tell me the number I'll call your grandmother." Kate's voice drew the teen's attention to the detective.

Alexis tilted the phone so Beckett could just make out the picture, "He get's so excited over the silliest things…" laying her hands back in her lap, the phone still clutched in them, Alexis spoke again. "Like that vest…He made a big production about it when it arrived, made Gram and me watch as he tried to put it on, it looked simple enough, but he couldn't get the stupid straps right. Gram told him it was a sign he should leave the dangerous stuff to the professional. He just rolled his eyes and left, coming back a few hours later knowing how to put it on. We thought he had gone to you and you showed him, but he told us you weren't happy that he got it either." Alexis took a deep breath and looked at Beckett, "Why didn't it work?"

Kate tightened her grip on the wheel as she looked at the incredibly small looking girl, "I don't know for sure, but the only reason for it to have not worked was our suspects had armor piercing bullets that we weren't aware of."

"Cop killers…" Alexis whispered.

"He's gonna be okay, he has to be. Like you said you guys have plans this weekend and if I know anything about your father, he wouldn't do anything to let you down." Kate reached over and squeezed Alexis's arm. "We really need to call you grandmother now, okay."

Castle's daughter nodded, her gaze never leaving the goofy grin of her dad's face until the flamboyant smile of her grandmother's took over the screen as she pressed number two on the phone and handed it to Kate.

Alexis turned toward the window watching the city scenery pass by as she listen to Detective Beckett calmly try to explain that her grandmother needed to met them at the hospital. Another moment passed when Kate's voice broke the silence, "She should get there shortly after we arrive."

Silence settled between the two as Alexis took her phone back and started to flip through some of the saved pictures she had taken of her father. One of him eating whip cream from a can, another of him with his 'onion goggles' on, then the one she loved most of all. It was a picture her father never realized she had taken. She had come home from school one day and the apartment was quiet, so Alexis sat her stuff on the kitchen table and headed to check her father's study. As she neared she heard the sound of the keys on his laptop, the faint, fast clicking that told her that her father had finally gotten over the writers block that had plagued him since his final Derrick Storm book. It had been a day after the first case he had worked with Detective Beckett, he was tilted back in his chair, feet up on the corner of his desk, laptop perched in his lap as he typed away, unaware of the world around him, a looked of contentment on his face. There was something about him in that moment that Alexis had wanted to hold on to, to keep, so silently she pulled her phone from her jacket pocket and snapped the picture.

Now as they pulled up to the hospital she put her phone in her purse, silently praying that she would get the chance to see that look on her father's face again.


	4. Chapter 4

The Castle is Breached  
Chapter 3

_A/N: Sorry for the delay between chapter updates, it's still a work in progress and I wanted to be a couple chapters ahead before I posted so I didn't feel rushed and totally screw this story up, you guys deserve better than a rush job, so I hope I'm forgiven and you all enjoy the next chapter!-Montez_

Upon exiting the car, Beckett took Alexis's hand as they made their way into the emergency department. Esposito caught her attention as Kate noticed Ryan sitting in one of the waiting room chairs, head held in his hands, Captain Montgomery standing beside him.

"How is he?" Kate asked as she and Alexis stopped in front of Javier.

Glancing at his partner then back to Beckett, he purposely tried to avoid eye contact with the teen, not sure he could stay impartial if he saw the fear in the girls face. "They've taken him up to surgery; we were waiting down here until you guys got here. They've set up a private waiting room for us and the Captain has talked to the staff about keeping it quiet for now," Finally glancing at Alexis Javier's voice caught slightly, "he didn't want the press getting a hold of the story just yet, at least until we knew something for sure and had you and your grandmother safe with us." He glanced away from the girl as she nodded in understanding, having lived with a father in the lime-light all her life she knew how the press could pounce on the slightest hint of what was happening.

Taking a deep breath Esposito looked at Beckett again, "Can I speak with you a minute?"

Kate could see the fear in her fellow officer's eyes as he made the request, something was wrong and he didn't want Alexis hearing it. "Yeah, sure… Alexis can you give me just a minute?" Beckett glanced up toward Montgomery once the teen nodded, "Captain, could you?"

The older man spoke quietly as he took Alexis's arm, "Were you able to reach your grandmother?" Kate heard him ask as he led Castle's daughter to a nearby chair. Ryan had gotten up and made his way toward Beckett and Esposito, his expression nearly took Kate's breath. She had never seen Kevin look so 'haunted'.

"What's wrong?" Beckett could feel the tears forming in her eye's again as she watched the two men before hesitate. "What?"

Ryan's quiet voice drew her attention to him, "They lost him again on the way, he barely had a pulse when we arrived…" Kevin ran his hand over his face, "When they took him up, the doctor…he said it didn't look good, something about a pulmonary artery and collapsed lung, Castle lost a lot of blood, a lot of it we couldn't see because he was bleeding into his chest."

Kate glanced at Alexis as the girl seemed focused on her phone again, the Captain sitting next to her. Turning quickly so the young girl wouldn't see the fear, Beckett was sure was showing on her face, she looked back at Javier, "What did you find at the scene? The only thing that could have gotten past his vest was armor piercing rounds, but nothing in what we knew about these guys told us that they had stuff of that quality."

Esposito nodded, "Found two cases in the bedroom, but only one of their guns had them in the clip, the second guys. The first didn't even seem to know his partner had them either."

The three detectives' stood in silence a moment, trying to absorb the twist that they didn't see coming that had landed Castle fighting for his life. At that moment the automatic doors opened and Martha Rodgers hurriedly entered, making her way toward the desk, not seeing the officers just a few feet from the door. "I'm here for my son, Richard Castle…"

"Martha." Kate's voice brought the older woman's attention to her; worry in Castle's mothers face twisted the knot further.

"What happened? Where is my son?" Beckett had dealt with scared family members before, but this was different, these were people she knew, that she had grown to care about. Before Kate could speak Alexis's voice called out across the room.

"Grams!" The teen rushed forward into her grandmother's arms.

"Oh, Alexis…" The woman held her tight, then looked at the four officers' before her. "Well is someone going to tell me what is going on? So I can see my son."

Kate took a deep breath and stepped forward, "They've taken Castle up to surgery, they've got a room for us up there and I will find a doctor to speak with you."

"Surgery? You told me he had been injured and brought to the hospital, I assumed…well I don't know what I assumed, but I didn't think it would involve surgery. What happened to him?" Martha looked at the faces of the people across from her as she finally took in the drawn, worried expressions and in Kate's case, fearful. She realized just how tight her granddaughter was holding her and all the dreaded pieces were starting to come into focus, this was something much worse than the black-eye he had gotten from a suspect before, or even the bruised knuckles from the time he had punched someone he was worried was going to shot the detective in front of her. "Oh dear Lord…" Martha's hand came to mouth as everything suddenly became clear, "Please…please tell me Richard is all right."

"All we know for sure is he is currently in surgery, like I mentioned I'll find someone to speak with you, but Martha, Castle…Rick was shot this morning." Beckett saw the woman's color drain as her strength seemed to give out as well.

"Gram!" Alexis's shout propelled both Kate and Javier forward as Martha's legs gave out, Alexis desperately trying to keep her grandmother standing.

Quickly getting the older woman to a chair, Kate sat on the table in front of her while Alexis kept a death grip on her arm. "Martha?" When it took the woman a moment to answer, Esposito mumbled that he was getting a doctor.

The older woman's hands were visibly shaking now as she brought one to her brow, the other finding a home in her granddaughter's hand. "Oh Richard…" She whispered. Beckett stood as Esposito arrived with a doctor. They stood silently a moment as the doctor checked on Martha, a nurse arrived a short time later with a cup of water. After a few minutes of pleading from Alexis, Martha allowed the doctor to check her vitals, and once the physician said she just needed to try and take it easy, Kate retook her seat in front of Castle's family. Beckett was staring at her hands when Martha took one of them, "Tell me what happened?" Seeing the hesitation in the younger woman's eyes she pleaded, "Please, I need to know what happened to my son."

Twenty minutes later found five people quietly taking up residence in the private waiting room set aside for them. Kate had left the room a moment to try and find a nurse or doctor that could explain Castle's condition to his family. Plus, as much as she hated to admit it, she needed some air. She needed some time away from Castle's family to try and compose herself, she had felt her barriers slipping after she had described to Martha and Alexis the details of the shooting.

Once talking to a nurse, who promised to find a doctor to speak with the family, Kate found herself at the end of the hallway, looking out the floor to ceiling window that overlooked part of the city. Hearing the elevator ding behind her, Beckett turned to see Lanie coming off the lift. The medical examiner looked around until her eye's landed on her best friend, moving quickly she covered the distance, "Oh Kate…" enveloping her friend in a hug. It was then Kate's resolve broke and she let herself cry.

Lanie led Kate to a small enclave out of the main hallway and sat quietly with her friend as she tried desperately to compose herself. It was a few more moments before Kate's horse voice spoke, "How did you know to come here?"

Lanie had dug a tissue from her purse, giving it to the upset woman beside her. "Javier called, told me that something happened to Castle and to meet you guys here as soon as I could. Kate…" the ME leaned forward slightly, catching Beckett's gaze, "What happened?"

Kate took in a deep breath and looked up, "We entered the house like usual, Castle was behind us. Everything seemed to be going okay, then the second guy lunged for a gun on the table and got a shot off before we could react. We thought it was a wide shot, we didn't…" A sob shook Beckett's body, "We didn't even know he had been hit. Ryan noticed first. God Lanie, I didn't even think to check on him until I heard Kevin's voice. At first we thought he just took a round in the vest, which would have been bad enough. For a moment I was so mad at him, but then…" Looking toward the ceiling Kate tired to stop the tears again, "his legs gave out, I didn't even see the trail of blood down the wall, Esposito saw if first…Lanie he was so pale, he tried to keep up his act, but I could see the pain, the fear in his face…his breathing got worse and he…" Kate covered her face as the tears won out again, Lanie barely heard the whispered words, "We had to do CPR on him, Ryan and I, until the ambulance got there…God Lanie for a few minutes he was dead, he died…I can't let that happen, I don't know what I'd do if…" Kate trailed off before she spoke words she didn't want to admit to herself. As annoying and infuriating as Castle can be, there was something about him, something that made her feel more alive than she had since her mother's murder.

"You've got to believe he'll be okay, do you really think you'd get out from his annoying the hell out of you that easy." Lanie tried to lighten the mood slightly. A person would have to have been blind to not notice the attraction between the detective and writer, but apparently they were the only two either not seeing it or just not admitting it. "Besides, think of how much you will get to tease him about the mouth to mouth that he wasn't even awake for." Lanie heard a slight bark of laughter as Kate continued to wipe her face, thankful her friend was there for her, even as the fear of losing Castle continued to play in her mind, in her heart.

Ten more minutes passed, mostly in silence as Beckett composed herself further, "We need to get back to the waiting room, see if they have found out anymore." Standing the two women embraced as Kate straightened herself again to face Castle's family. They needed her to be strong, Rick was counting on her to be strong for them and there was no way she was going to let him down.


	5. Chapter 5

The Castle is Breached  
Chapter 4  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

_A/N: Just wanted to take a moment and say Thank You to everyone who has taken the time to read, review, favorite and alert my story. I'm humbled by the positive response. I'm also a little excited by you wonderful people who have alerted this story that it is very close to being the top alerted story that I've written. Did that make sense? Just the thought that there are people out there who like my story enough to alert it is overwhelming and I notice these little 'milestones' if you will, I get excited by them, encouraged. It makes me want to work that much harder to write a good enough story to make it worthy of your interest. I hope I can continue that and not disappoint any of you. So with that being said-on to the next chapter._  
_Thanks-Montez_

It was another two hours and three coffee runs by Lanie and Javier before a member of the surgical team came to speak with the family.

As soon as the man in scrubs opened the door, everyone in the room stood, "Family of Richard Castle?"

Martha stepped forward, Alexis held close to her side. Kate was a few steps behind as were the rest of the officer's that had somehow, over the last couple years, found themselves orbiting in Castle's eclectic universe. "I'm his mother, Martha Rodgers, this is his daughter Alexis. Please how is my son?"

The doctor motioned for them to sit, taking a set on the table across from the couch Castle's family sat on. "I'm Dr. Reynolds, first of all Mr. Castle is currently being moved into recovery, where he will stay for the next few hours. We want to monitor him closely to make sure we were able to repair all the damage the bullet caused." The doctor watched the woman and young girl across from him, they seemed to hold tighter at the mention of the bullet. Taking a deep breath he continued, he needed this family to understand what they were facing in the days ahead. "I want to say that the surgery went as well as could be expected, Mr. Castle lost a fair amount of blood, which had accumulated in his chest cavity causing his lung to collapse. The bullet itself passed completely through, but on its way it did enter the upper part of his right lung, nicking a pulmonary artery, which caused the majority of the blood lose. We've repaired the damage and are currently giving him blood, as well as, antibiotics to hopefully fight off any infection that may arise. He is currently on a ventilator to give his lungs time to heal; we've also placed him in a medically induced coma to give his body the time and rest it needs to recover from this. I'm cautiously optimistic, that with some time, Mr. Castle should make a full recovery."

"Oh thank God…" Martha whispered out with the breath she had been holding, hugging Alexis closer to her as the teen too released a shaky breath. "When can we see him?" Martha asked.

"As I said, he will be in recover for a few hours. Then be moved to the ICU until the ventilator is removed, which will be a few days at least. Once he is in ICU visitors will be allowed, however, no more than two at a time and for only about ten minutes an hour." He glanced at the people standing around the family, clearly seeing the badges and guns on each person's hip, Dr. Reynolds looked back at his patient's family. "I know this is difficult, but he will need a lot of support once he's awake and since its going to still be a few hours before he can have visitors I strongly urge you all to go home a while, get some rest or at least something to eat. You can leave your numbers with the nurse and if anything changes we will call you immediately."

The doctor stood as Martha gave him small smile, "Thank you doctor, for everything." The older woman stood, shaking the doctor's hand before he left the room.

As the door closed, Martha turned back toward Alexis and pulled her into a tight hug, "He's going to be okay…" She whispered as Alexis clung to her grandmother.

Kate found herself releasing a breath that she felt she had been holding since Castle had stopped breathing at the scene. She glanced at Lanie as she felt her friend squeeze her hand, nodding slightly Beckett cleared her throat a bit as she stepped up to Martha and Alexis, what she wasn't prepared for was Castle's daughter pulling her into a hug, "Thank you." Alexis whispered to the stunned detective.

"What? What for?" Kate felt she was more deserving of hate or anger from Castle's family, not gratitude.

"For being there with my dad, for helping him, for making sure I got to him…just thank you." Alexis hugged her again. Kate glanced at Martha over the teen's shoulder, fully expecting to see mirth in the older woman's face, knowing this was Martha's worst fear coming to life, that Castle had been seriously hurt because of his shadowing Beckett. But as with the teen, all Kate saw was gratitude that she didn't feel she deserved.

"I think the doctor's right…" Captain Montgomery spoke, breaking the silence. Looking at Martha and Alexis he continued, "Mrs. Rodgers, I think it may be a good idea for you and Alexis to go home for a bit, I'm going to call in a few favors and have someone stationed on this floor so the press doesn't get any closer than what's comfortable and I would feel better if you allowed me to have someone escort you both back and forth from the hospital."

"I can do that." Kate spoke without really thinking. He mind had been going over what Castle had asked her months ago and then again just a few hours ago, that if something happened to him if she would watch out for Alexis.

The captain looked at her, as did the rest of her team, each knowing she would be just as heard to pull away from the hospital as Castle's family. "I think that's a good idea," Montgomery said, glancing at Martha, "As long as it is okay with you Mrs. Rodgers?"

Martha looked at the young detective that had somehow ensnared her son's heart, whether either of them realized it or not, she saw how her granddaughter had yet to release the woman's hand, needing that extra support as well. Martha smiled sadly, "I couldn't imagine anyone else for the job."

After a few minutes of everyone saying goodbye and promising to return in a few hours, Kate, Alexis and Martha were left in the waiting room. The need to apologize overwhelmed Beckett, "Martha, I'm so sorry…"

However, the older woman cut her off, by too pulling her into a hug, "Nonsense dear, I don't see how any of this is your fault, I know my son too well to know you couldn't have stopped him from following you. I won't say the thought of this day hasn't haunted a few nightmares over the past couple years, but I always felt as long as you were close to him, everything would be okay." Martha released the detective and took her granddaughter's hand, "Now…" looking between the teen and the detective Martha continued, "I think we should make a quick run home, change into something a little more comfortable for the waiting I'm sure my son will make us wait though. Detective, if you could take us home now, I wish to be back in a couple hours to see my son."

"Of course." Kate replied as the three women left the room only stopping a moment at the nurse's station to leave their cell numbers.

Pulling up to Castle's building Kate stopped at the front door, the doorman coming to open the car door for Martha and Alexis "Aren't you coming up?" Alexis asked before she got out of the car.

Looking at the pleading in the teen's face Beckett took a deep breath, "I'll be back in a little bit, I'm gonna change cloths and call into the precinct to make sure everything is going okay." Kate couldn't very well tell Castle's daughter that she needed some time, some time to try and push all the emotions that continued to overwhelm her aside. To stick them back in the box where she keeps her feelings so not to appear weak, vulnerable. She couldn't tell the girl that seeing the fear in not only Martha's and Alexis's eyes was nearly ripping her soul out, but the fear she saw in Rick's face as he lost consciousness. In all the time and all the situations her and Castle had found themselves in over the years there had only been one other time she had ever seen absolute fear in his face and that was when they had been standing next to the van containing the dirty bomb. It had been the look of a man who knew he was going to die, but wanted so much to live, who wanted to see his daughter again, who wanted to go home that night and put the terrible day behind them. That night they had, but tonight was different and Beckett needed time to process what happened and to try and get that look of fear from haunting her every time she closed her eyes.

Reaching up she took Alexis's hand as it rested on the back of the seat, "I promise I'll be back in a couple hours, sooner if you need me too."

With a whispered, "Okay." From the teen, Alexis joined Martha on the sidewalk as Kate pulled away from the curb, tears again slipping free as Kate glanced in the rear-view mirror, seeing Castle's family embracing each other before heading into the building.


	6. Chapter 6

The Castle is Breached  
Chapter 5  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

_A/N: OMG! You guys are amazing, this is now my top alerted story-I am humbled beyond comprehension. I know it may not mean much to others and though reviews are wonderful, I look at alerts and favorites as ranking up there with reviews, it may not be a written statement of how my story is, but it still show me that someone is interested enough to want to know what's coming in the next chapter. Again you guys are amazing, and for that I'm posting a second chapter this weekend just because you guys ROCK!_  
_Hope you enjoy and Thanks again!-Montez_

Martha and Alexis silently made there way up the elevator and toward the loft's doorway. The teen pulled her key out and opened the door. Never in her near seventeen years had her home ever felt so empty. Even when her father wasn't home there was an energy that told her any moment he would waltz in the door with some tale of adventure. In the last couple years it had been tales of what went on at the 12th. Honestly, as with most kids, she never gave much thought to what her father did when he left the house. Even with her 'wise beyond her years' maturity her father always said she possessed, it never crossed her mind that her father may never again come home.

Even when he had gotten that Kevlar vest she never really thought anything would happen to him. To him and even her to some extent, it was a new toy her father had found, like the laser tag, or Guitar Hero he loved to play.

It wasn't until after the fact that she learned about 'the bomb'. She knew something bad was happening the day her father had all but ordered them out of the city. Even with the pleading in his eye's as he made it clear to her that she had to leave everything and everyone, so he could know she was safely away from danger, she had never dreamed her father would be as close to the bomb as he had been. True to form he had told her and her grandmother everything that had happened once they left and he had returned to the precinct. It was then an inkling of fear started to filter into her consciousness.

But as she heard her grandmother say something then head upstairs, Alexis found herself wondering around the apartment. She glanced at the bar area of the kitchen, a coffee mug and cereal bowl sat untouched. He had been eating when she had left for school that morning, and as with most days, he left the items on the counter. Not that her dad was a slob, quite the opposite on most things, but if Detective Beckett called during breakfast, he would drop everything and head off.

Tracing her hand over the bar Alexis glanced across the room, a couple legal pads rested on the coffee table, along with a reference book from her father's extensive library. She smiled at his familiar scrawl on the paper and the several post-it notes sticking out of the top and side of the book. Making her way across the room she paused outside his office door, it was closed, which was a rare occurrence. She didn't go in there often. Not that she wasn't allowed, her father allowed her access to any part of the house, he trusted her more than anyone, she just chose not to. Alexis felt that was her father's space, just as he rarely entered her room upstairs, they respected each other's space. However at this moment the teen needed to go in, to feel her father's presence somewhere in the loft and if it would be anywhere it would be in his office.

Slowly opening the door she noticed the evening light casting shadows over the room, the room smelled like her father, his cologne. Closing her eye's she could almost image him sitting behind his desk, feet propped up on the edge, laptop in his lap, typing away. But the image faded as she opened her eye's to the empty chair, his laptop silent on the desk. It was then that her mind seemed to finally catch up with the events of the day, her chest constricted as she fought the rising emotion welling inside; it was the sight of the vacant desk and silent keyboard that brought everything crashing down on top of her. That crushing weight caused Alexis's knees to go weak as she silently dropped to them in the doorway of her father's office and she cried like she had never cried in her life.

Martha glanced toward her granddaughter as she made her way up the stairs, Alexis was walking toward the kitchen. The older woman was going to change from the bright green dress she had worn for the audition into…well she didn't quite know what. What did one wear to wait endlessly at a hospital? While waiting for their only child to wake up from surgery? Surgery caused by a gun shot wound. "Oh God Richard." Martha whispered out as she sat heavily on her bed. She was a mother, and as any parent could tell you, the fear of something happening to your child was a parent's greatest fear, no matter how old that child was.

Through the tears that silently broke loose she saw a picture of her son. One taken at his latest book launch party, it was of him, Martha and Alexis. He looked so confident, so self-assured. It had taken him months to get over his writers block when he had killed off his best selling character Derrick Storm, but as chance would have it at that very launch party for that final book, he had met the woman that would inspire his next, soon to be best selling character, Nikki Heat. Detective Kate Beckett had taken him in to question him about two murders that were committed just like murders from his books. It had been within a couple of days of meeting the detective that Martha noticed her son with his laptop and note pad again, hold up in his office.

In the beginning she was happy he'd had a break-through, but as time went by and the months passed, she noticed a change in her son. He had written over twenty best sellers and never needed to constantly shadow a police officer to do so. She knew her son was a quick study of people, he had always had a gift that way, even as a boy he could tell her upon meeting her latest boyfriend which ones would turn out to be only looking for ways to get to her money. Unfortunately as he got older she didn't listen to those warnings near enough and that is how she came to be living with her adult son and granddaughter. And though it was mentioned from time to time, Richard had never side 'I told you so'.

It was once those months turned into a year and then two, that Martha realized just how serious of a change had happened with her son. He had been the preverbal playboy over the years, though not nearly as much as his reputation made him out to be, but with two failed marriages and different woman around him at public engagements, the rumors had their own way of spiraling. She was proud how he had tried to shield Alexis from most of it, only two woman were ever brought to the loft, Meredith, Alexis's mother and Richard's first wife and Gina, his second wife. Any other women were never allowed around Alexis. That was until Detective Kate Beckett.

She had visited the apartment several times over the years, always on business. Even the fund-raiser that her son and the detective had attended together was part of a case, but Martha had to admit even back then she noticed the way her son acted, he actually appeared nervous about the 'date'. Then when the poor woman's apartment was destroyed by a mad-man's bomb, Kate was welcomed at their place and Martha noticed how almost cautious, though attentive, her son was around the woman. Martha knew even then her son was falling in love, and not the kind of love he'd had with his ex-wives, but an, 'I'll do anything to keep her around' love. He had thought he'd lost her when he had to tell her that he had looked into her mother's death. Then Martha watched how his moods would darken some when Kate took an interest in other men. Her son had become cautious with his feelings, his heart had been broken once, by a woman he truly loved, so as his feeling grew for the detective he almost seemed afraid.

Then a couple years ago he and Gina had gone to the Hampton's together. She could tell it was reluctantly, Richard had mentioned that Kate was seeing another detective and his mood had slipped to a darker place. Though he tried so hard to hide it, it worked with everyone except Martha and Alexis, they knew the truth. And in the last year Richard hadn't seen anyone regularly and had been with Detective Beckett almost everyday. He had told Martha once, not long ago, that it wasn't about the books anymore. It was then Martha knew her son had finally realized exactly how he felt about Kate, but he had yet to voice those feelings because she appeared to be in a relationship with a doctor. Martha knew her son wouldn't stop shadowing the woman; he loved her, felt, in his own chivalrous way he could protect her if he was near her and thus protect himself as well.

But as she stared at his smiling face, she was terrified she wouldn't see it again. Even though the doctor's were optimistic of a complete recovery, how would her son really be when he woke up? Martha sat the picture aside and quickly changed into a tan pants suit. It was then she heard a faint noise from downstairs and quickly made her way down the stairs. It took her a moment to find her granddaughter, leaning against the doorway of her son's office; the young girl was curled into an impossibly small ball, her quiet sobs racking her body, "Oh Alexis…" Martha sat beside her granddaughter and pulled the girl to her.

"He's not here…" Alexis whispered, "I can always feel him here, even when he's not, but I can't now…" she continued to mumble, "I'm so scared."

Kissing the top of her head, Martha held her tighter, "I know sweetheart, so am I, but we have to believe he'll be back in there soon, typing out his stories and tempting you from homework with that ridiculous laser tag thing." Martha waved her hand in the air as she tried desperately to reassure her granddaughter and herself.

"Promise?" Alexis looked up at the older woman, looking so much like the little girl who cried for days when she was little and her mother had left. Martha had been so proud of her son in those days after Meredith took her things and headed to the west coast, leaving her husband and toddler behind. Richard had promised Alexis he would never leave her that day and he had always made it a point to make sure the now teenager knew she was the most important thing in his life and Martha had no doubt that her son would keep fighting, if for nothing else to not break that promise to his little girl.

"Promise."


	7. Chapter 7

The Castle is Breached  
Chapter 6  
Disclaimer: see chapter1

Silence settled between Castle's mother and daughter as they held on to each other. They had no idea how long they had been sitting there, but Martha glanced down and saw Alexis had quite literally cried herself to sleep, nestled next to her grandmother. Sometime later it was the ringing of the doorbell that pulled Martha's attention from her granddaughter as she looked across the room toward the door. The older woman hated to move, knowing the emotions that would again flood the teen beside her when she woke up, but another ringing of the bell had Martha giving Alexis a gentle shake. "Gram?" The teen's sleepy, emotional voice spoke quietly.

A knock this time drew both their attentions, as it was followed by Detective Beckett's voice calling to them.

"I think we should let her in dear, or she may very well come in by force." Martha tried to smile as the two moved to get up. Martha was quite aware of the emotions the detective had been trying to contain, so the older woman had no doubt that if the door wasn't answered soon the younger woman's concern could possibly take over her rational thought.

Another more frantic knock had Martha calling out as she neared the door, "Just a moment…" Alexis didn't wait for her grandmother to open the door before she headed upstairs; she needed to change from her school uniform, so they could return to the hospital, hopefully to see her father.

Pulling the door open Martha saw concern on Kate's face, "Is everything all right?" Kate asked as she stepped across the threshold, into the apartment.

Martha smiled sadly as she glanced up the stairs, "It will be as soon as Richard is home." Taking a deep breath the older woman motioned Kate toward the couch, "I'm afraid Alexis is having a rather difficult time…" Pausing Martha looked at her clasped hands, "I suppose we both are…I just…" A quiet sob escaped the older woman as she tried her best to contain herself.

Kate reached a hand out, laying it overtop Martha's, "I'm sorry, I can't help but feel it's my fault, if I had put an end to him following us into dangerous situations long ago, this wouldn't have happened."

Martha looked the younger woman in the face, "My son's been with you for nearly three years now, you should know better than anyone, short of handcuffing him to the car, you weren't going to stop him from following you."

Kate couldn't help but laugh slightly at the memory that flooded her mind, "I did that once…"

"Oh really." Martha looked somewhat amused, this was not a story her son had shared.

Kate nodded her head as she recalled the day nearly three years ago. "It was that first case, after he followed me the first time, I decided I needed a way to really keep him in the car when we confronted the real suspect, so I tricked him into thinking he was going to get to carry a gun if he was going to follow me in. I told him it was in the glove box of my car. When he went to look, he left one hand on the handle just inside the door, so when he wasn't looking I slipped my cuffs around his wrist and handle…" Kate chuckled again at the memory of Castle's child-like disappointed face. "I didn't know he carried a handcuff key in his wallet."

"Oh dear…" Martha looked just as surprised as Beckett had felt that day.

"Yeah, he managed to get himself loose just as our suspect came down the fire escape not thirty feet from him. He called to tell me where the suspect was and as I stepped out onto the fire escape, Castle was chasing him. I yelled at him to stop, but of course he didn't listen. Needless to say he caught up with the guy and we ended up arresting him." Kate decided to leave out the part about the suspect taking Castle at gunpoint in a tense standoff that Kate was sure would end with the over eager writer getting shot, since it appeared Castle had never relayed that particular story to his family.

"That sounds like Richard, tends to jump in with both feet without thinking of the possible outcome at the time." Martha answered, thinking of the many things her son had done over the years that could have been avoided with a little planning ahead.

Just as they finished the story Alexis descended the stairs, "Detective Beckett…" The teen started, Kate stopping her as she stood.

"You really need to call me Kate, Alexis."

The teen looked down a moment before looking back at the detective, "Kate…sorry to keep you all waiting…" Looking at her grandmother then back to Kate, "Can we go back to the hospital now?"

"Of course." Kate answered as Martha stood; making their way toward the door, back toward the man that linked them together.

Twenty minutes later found them making their way off the elevator onto the fourth floor where the ICU was located. Beckett allowed Martha to take the lead as she followed behind her and Alexis. "Excuse me…" Martha started, a young nurse looking up at the sound of the older woman's voice. "Dr. Reynolds told me my son, Richard Castle would be moved to this unit, is it possible for us to visit with him."

The nurse quickly typed in the name; if she recognized the authors name she did a good job of hiding it as she glanced back up at Martha and Alexis. "I have a note that the doctor wishes to speak with you, if you'll give me just a moment." The young woman reached for the phone as Alexis anguishly spoke.

"Oh God, something's wrong, why would we have to talk with the doctor again? Why can't we just see him?" Tears again sprang to the girl's eyes as she looked between Beckett and her grandmother.

Kate felt her heart rate increase at the thought of the doctor needing to talk with Castle's family before they could see him. Alexis's words gave voice to Beckett's own fears. Martha tried to be the voice of reason, giving her granddaughter a quick hug, "I'm sure it's nothing dear, they would have called if it was anything major. " Though her tone gave hint to the fear and worry of what the doctor needed to say.

The nurse's voice brought their attention back to her, "Dr. Reynolds will be out shortly, if you could have a seat." Reluctantly the three stepped away from the counter, but none of them took a seat, waiting anxiously for the doctor to emerge through the silver doors.

A couple minutes later Dr. Reynolds emerged, Martha talking before the man reached her, "Is Richard all right? The nurse said you needed to speak with us. Can we see him?"

"Please take a seat Mrs. Rodgers…" The doctor motioned them to the nearby chairs, each taking a seat. "There's been a slight complication with Mr. Castle's condition."

Kate spoke up next, "What do you mean complication? How come no one called?"

"Mr. Castle has developed a fever in the last hour, it's slight, but it warrants us changing his antibiotic and we will continue to monitor him closely. I wouldn't normally allow visitors just yet, but I am going to allow you back, so you can see for yourself that even with this little hiccup, he is doing as good as we could expect." The doctor had watched panic, fear and now hope cross the faces of the two women and teenager across from him, "But I do want to warn you, seeing a loved one in the condition Mr. Castle is currently in can be overwhelming. He is still on a respirator, which will be the most prominent machine in the room. It is very scary to see for the first time, but please understand it is to help him heal. There is also a heart monitor and pulse ox meter along with the IV's providing the needed medication as well as helping to replace some of the blood he lost. Normally we would only allow two people back to see the patient, but for this first visit I am going to allow the three of you back. You can touch him, just make sure not to disturb any of the equipment, you can even speak to him. Many people have claimed they have heard their loved ones even while in drug induced comas. I will ask that your visit be limited to no more than fifteen minutes. After this initial visit I am going to recommend that he not have any visitors for a few hours so we can get the new round of antibiotics started and give them a chance to start working, hopefully stopping the infection that is trying to take hold. Do you have any questions? I know this is a lot to take in."

Again Kate deferred to Martha, the detective was so glad they would all three be allowed back. She just needed to see Castle, even if a machine was breathing for him; she needed to see his was still alive, that he hadn't left her. "Please, we just need to see Richard." Martha spoke quietly as she stood, Alexis coming up with her, Kate following suit.

"Of course." Dr. Reynolds stood as well, "If you have any questions later the nurses will be able to page me." He took a step and motioned toward the doors, "If you would follow me."

Silently Alexis, Martha and Kate followed Dr. Reynolds back through the silver doors he had just emerged from. Following him to see the man they each loved.


	8. Chapter 8

The Castle is Breached  
Chapter 7  
Disclaimer: See chapter 1

Pausing outside a curtained cubicle, the doctor reiterated, "Fifteen minutes and again if you have any questions just ask." Martha nodded as the doctor stepped away, she felt Alexis wrap her arm around hers, a slight tremor passing through the teenager. Kate stood behind, allowing Castle's family to see him first.

Martha took a deep breath. She had no idea how to prepare herself for this, her son had hardly ever been so much as sick as a child and other than the occasional hangover he would have after one of those book launch parties, he was rarely ever in bed past seven a.m. Closing her eye's a moment to try to hold on to the thread of composure she still had, she glanced at her granddaughter, then they stepped through the curtain together.

Richard Castle was a tall man, though not imposing with his normally in place smirk and mischievous twinkle in his eyes. But he did have a way about him that never gave the impression of being weak or vulnerable, but as she took in the still form of her son on the stark white hospital bedding, he never looked so small, so vulnerable. Martha couldn't hold back the whimper that escaped her at the sight; her greatest fear was playing out in front of her.

As Martha watched the artificial rise and fall of her son's chest, her own constricted. The site of him seemed to make what was happening real. Yes, she had seen the worry and fear on the faces of the officers her son worked around, the guilt on Kate's face. Even the fear that Alexis had been dealing with, but part of the older woman wanted to believe it wasn't nearly as bad as everyone was making it out to be, that despite what the doctor had told them, a part of her expected her son's blue-eyes to greet them when they entered the room. But now it hit home, now it was real, she could see the proof with her own eyes, she had nearly lost her son today.

Her mind went back nearly forty years, to the day Richard Alexander Rodgers came into the world. She was an unwed mother during a time when that was looked down upon. But Martha had always been a proud woman, it took a certain amount of confidence and self-assurance to be an actress and though she had been terrified when she had found out she was pregnant, she had those nine months to deal with the repercussions and decide what she was going to do. Many people voiced their opinions; some had suggested adoption sighting being a single mother would dampen her career. There were even a few who whispered the word abortion, saying she should pretend it never happened. But Martha knew in her heart neither choice would be the right one and though she heard the whispers in the early years, she chose to have her baby and keep him; she never looked back and never regretted a moment.

She may not have always been the most attentive mother, but she was there for her son when it counted. He knew if he really needed her she would be there for him, but Richard had been an independent soul from an early age. He had always been far smarter than he wanted others to know, more like Alexis than he would ever admit, but his mischievous, child-like air about him threw people. Richard truly loved life and saw the good in nearly every situation; some people took that naivety and didn't give him the credit he deserved. His writing had changed some of that, but as his star rose there were those that wanted to take the good qualities of his character and twist them to where he was sometimes perceived as a spoiled, rich, playboy, which was the furthest from the truth.

But none of that mattered now. Martha had warned her son once that with the dangerous situations he allowed himself to become involved in that he wouldn't be able to 'charm' his way out of a bullet and the horrific reality of that statement was again punctuated by the activation of the respirator and quiet beeping of the heart monitor.

A chocked noise next to her pulled her attention to her son's daughter. "Dad?" Alexis whispered. The image before the teen was warring with the image of her father that morning at the bar eating his breakfast. His infectious enthusiasm caused her to smile as she watched him banter with her grandmother over whether she would do well on her audition that day. Alexis recalled her father's voice stopping her as she made her way to the door after giving him a kiss on the cheek, "Don't forget about our plans this weekend." Her father reminded her. Now that Alexis had a steady boyfriend her father had made it a point to plan special outings just for the two of them. She knew it was his way of keeping his 'little girl' close to him and she loved him for it. But now those plans would be on hold, her life would be on hold until her father was awake, and whole again.

Slowly Castle's family stepped to the bed, each taking a side as Alexis took her father's hand, it feeling so limp and lifeless, so different from the protective hands that had held her over the years, that had made her feel safe. But now there was no response as she tried to get his fingers to curl around her hand, staring when they wouldn't stay in place. Tears dripped from her eyes as she looked up at the still, pale face. She jumped slightly as the respirator activated, moving her father's chest up and down, "Daddy…" Alexis whispered as she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

Kate stood at the end of the bed, her ability to rationalize that the man in the bed before her was the same, annoying, pain in the ass; she had come to accept, to trust, to rely on in the most intense situations. The same man she had some how allowed into her life and if she was totally honest, into her heart. The Rick Castle Beckett had come to know was never this still, this quiet. Even when he was just sitting and watching her do paperwork he had a habit of fidgeting, if only slightly, his leg would bounce, he would play with the paperclips or rubber bands that he could find laying on her desk or he would have his phone out, texting or twitting or whatever it was he did on the thing.

He also had a habit of mumbling to himself, it was more noticeable when it was later in the evening and the squad room would be quieter. One time she had made it a point to really listen to what he was saying and from what she had gathered he was talking out plot points, working out scenes that he was thinking of writing. This would be confirmed when he would pull his ever present notebook from his pocket and start jotting notes.

Castle had made her life so much more interesting and dare she say fun. Even in the mist of the most horrific cases he had a way of reminding her there was good in the world, that not all was dark and dangerous. But more importantly he reminded her that it was okay to let people in, to let people care about her, that not everyone would go away and leave her alone. But now, looking at the unnaturally still form the lie of that statement was reaffirmed, people you cared about did leave, they could be snatched away in the beat of a heart, either by knife or bullet. No one, not even the great Richard Castle was as invincible as she had wanted to believe him to be.

"I'm sorry, but it's time let him rest now." A young, brunette nurse had slipped silently into the room. No one had noticed her until she spoke. "We will let you know if there is any change in his condition, but Dr. Reynolds wanted to switch Mr. Castle's medication and give it time to start working, so it will be a few hours before anyone is allowed to visit."

As the young woman watched Martha reached over and kissed her son on the forehead whispering words that weren't often spoken between mother and son, "I love you Richard, you make your way back to us soon."

Alexis leaned in and kissed her father's cheek in the same spot she kissed him every morning before she headed to school. "I love you daddy."

Kate had remained near the foot of the bed, reaching up she placed her hand on his covered leg, "Don't you dare run out on me now." She whispered, as the three women left the room to settle in the waiting room for the long night ahead.

It was near midnight when Alexis startled awake. She had dosed off in one of the uncomfortable chairs that filled the waiting room. She glanced toward the couch to see her grandmother quietly dozing, she had never thought of her grandmother as old, she possessed the same zest for life her father had, but as the day wore on, the fear and worry, it was now the teen could see the age in the woman's face and that scared her.

Looking across from her, Alexis saw Detective Kate Beckett, turned sideways in a chair much like the one she was in, the detectives head resting against the back, a worried look visible on the woman's sleeping face as well. The teen stood quietly, they all needed their rest, but each had reluctantly succumbed to the sleep they each craved. Alexis walked toward the window in the room, looking out over the city she had grown up in, that she traversed everyday. Only now it seemed so much darker, so much more dangerous than she had ever believed it to be. She knew the city could be a dangerous place, she had seen some of the crime scene photos that her father would bring home from time to time. She would listen to her father talk of the terrible things he had seen while following Detective Beckett around, but she never believed her life would be touched so directly by it, that her father could be snatched away by it.

The clock on the wall told the teen it had been nearly five hours since she had last seen her father. Dr. Reynolds had come out once during that time, letting them know that the antibiotic had been changed, but her father's temperature had continued to rise. He had tried to reassure them all that the medication just needed time to work and that, along with the other measures they were taking, would soon remedy the minor complication.

As much as she tried to distract herself, her eye's kept going to the silver doors that separated her from her father. She willed the doctor to come through, telling them they could see her dad again, but as the minutes ticked by they remained closed.

Her father had commented over the years at how responsible Alexis was for a teenager. She was more rule oriented than most of her friends who were known to tease her from time to time at her unwillingness to break even the simplest of rules. But now she was eyeing the clock and the doors respectively. She needed to see her father; every ounce of her being needed the reassurance that only seeing him could give her. Alexis glanced at the sleeping forms of her grandmother and the detective as she took a cautious step toward the doors. She watched the lone nurse at the desk turn her back to check a file; it was then that Alexis Castle made her move, silently slipping through the doors to the ICU, quietly making her way back to her father's side.


	9. Chapter 9

The Castle is Breached  
Chapter 8  
Disclaimer: See chapter 1

As Alexis quietly slipped into the cubicle her father was in, she quickly made her way to his side. The light staffing over night had worked to her advantage. A part of her wished her father could see his little girl breaking a rule, going against an authority figure for her own selfish reasons. He'd joked with her that she needed some excitement once in a while, but she was sure that these were definitely not the circumstances in which he wanted his daughter pushing that boundary.

Reaching down the teen took her dad's hand in hers; she could feel the heat this time. Taking a moment to really study his lax face, he looked paler, if that was possible, only his dark brown hair keeping him from blending into the white of the sheets beneath him. She also noticed the slight sheen of sweat that coated his forehead, pieces of his hair sticking to it in spots. A faint pink tinged his cheeks as she made an attempt to brush some of his hair back.

"Dad? Can you her me?" She gave his hand a gentle squeeze, hoping so much for something from him. "You'd be so proud of me, I broke a rule." she chuckled to herself at the ridiculousness of the comment. "They said we couldn't come see you again until the doctor said, but I needed to see you, to let you know we were all still here waiting for you." Alexis watched for any movement, randomly running her hand over his hair, her hand held tight to his. "Daddy, I need you to be okay, I need you to wake up soon, you're really starting to scare me and you are the only person that can make me feel safe when I'm scared, so please…" Alexis's voice trailed off as tears slipped from her eye's landing on top of her father's blanket.

Several minutes passed as Alexis watched her father 'sleep'. It was surreal for her; normally it was her waking up to see her dad sitting in a chair near the side of her bed watching her sleep. He hadn't done it much since she had gotten older, at least not that she was aware of. In recent years it seemed to occur if he was helping Detective Beckett on a case involving children. She would sometimes wake up in the mornings and he would look sad and grateful at the same time, she was never sure how he could pull off that expression but that was the only way she could describe it.

However, she rarely saw her father sleeping, usually only if had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room or in one of the lounge chairs he had in his office, his laptop usually just an arms reach away. She did remember a few times when she was little and she would have a bad dream, she would sneak down the stairs, making her way to his room, her favorite stuffed monkey in toe. She would always tap on his nose to wake him up. He would then pull back the covers and allow her to crawl up on bed with him. She'd snuggle into his side, his arms encircling her, making her feel safe again as he would make up little silly stories to chase away the remnants of the nightmares.

She wished he could hold her close right now, chase away the nightmare of the last day. But all she could do now to comfort herself was hold her father's hand and silently pray his fever would break and he would wake up soon.

Alexis's head jerked up as the beeping sound from the heart monitor increased, followed by a sudden increase in pressure on her hand that held her fathers. For a moment she thought he was waking, that the nightmare was ending only for it get much, much worse. She watched as his entire body stiffened, a sickening gasping sound coming from deep inside his chest as the ventilator activated, the heart monitor and pulse ox meter emanating a high-pitched whine as a nurse rushed into the room, "What are you doing in here?" the woman glanced at Alexis as the girl was able to remove her hand from her father's, taking a step back as his body arched slightly off the bed.

The nurse didn't wait for an answer from the teen before she hit a button on the wall, sending a call over the intercom for assistance as a seizure overtook her father. A couple more nurses and a doctor quickly filled the room as Alexis backed her way out, her eye's never leaving her father's form. Her mind heard the shouted orders of the doctor as they worked to stabilize her dad, but she didn't hear the words.

"Come on honey, you don't need to be seeing this." A quiet voice barely filtered though Alexis's shocked mind as she felt someone take her by the arms and lead her down the hallway, back toward the waiting room. They had only gone a few feet when the teen realized what was happening, it was then she began to struggle, "No…" She wanted to stay with her father, she needed to stay with him, "No…stop…Dad!…please, I need to…Daddy!" Alexis's voice finally called out loudly as she continued to fight against the person leading her down the hall.

Kate Beckett sat up quickly, something had woken her, but she wasn't sure what. She glanced around the waiting room, Martha stirred then slowly sat up straighter, her eye's meeting Kate's. "Where's Alexis?" Beckett asked as she realized the teen was missing from the room. Martha looked around as Kate stood; taking a step toward the hallway, thinking maybe the teen was walking around the floor. However, it was the heart breaking cry of 'Daddy' that stopped Kate. Her eye's going to the doors of the ICU just as a nurse was leading a nearly hysterical Alexis back through.

"Alexis?"

"Alexis?" Both Martha and Kate called the girls name at the same time, Kate reaching the struggling teen first.

"No I need to stay with him…" Alexis continued to struggle, even as Kate's arms surrounded her. "Kate please…Dad…"

The teen's eyes stayed on the door as Kate's met the nurses. "What happened?" Kate feared what may be going on, but something had terrified the girl in her arms. Martha was beside her quickly, trying to help move her granddaughter toward the waiting room.

The nurse relinquished her hold as the others took over, "She snuck back, we didn't know she was back there." Kate looked at the woman then at the teen now held by her and Martha, who was crying uncontrollable.

"What happened?" Kate asked again.

"It appears Mr. Castle had a seizure while she was in there with him. The doctor will be out just as soon as he can. I need to get back." The nurse answered as best she could before heading back through the doors.

Beckett looked into the terrified face of Martha, as they struggled to get Alexis to a chair. Suddenly the teen doubled over, Kate knew what was coming and quickly changed their course to the nearest trash can, where Alexis proceeded to start dry-heaving. Martha was trying to whisper soothing words to her granddaughter, but it didn't appear the girl could hear them.

Kate barely heard the ding of the elevator down the hall, but movement caught her eye, Ryan and Esposito emerged, quickly picking up their pace as they saw what was happening. The two men reached the women and teen just as Martha's panicked voice called out, "Alexis!" the younger girl going limp in their grasp.

Esposito grabbed Alexis from Martha's and Kate's arms, quickly carrying her toward the waiting room couch. "We need some help out here!" Ryan shouted over the nurse's station desk as he followed the group.

Laying the teen down gentle, Javier backed away so Martha could get next to her. "What happened?" He asked looking at Beckett.

Just then a nurse came back through the doorway to see what the shouting was about. Seeing the young girl passed out on the couch, she quickly grabbed the phone and called for another doctor, before she headed over to them.

A young, blond doctor came through the stairwell doors, making his way toward the group, "What's going on?" he asked as he took the stethoscope from around his neck, placing it to the unconscious girl's chest.

"She passed out…" Kate started, "She was very upset, she threw up, then passed out."

The nurse added, "She witnessed her father have a seizure." Ryan and Esposito exchanged worried glances before their attention was brought back to Alexis as the doctor spoke.

"Her heart rate is up, as is her respiration." Looking at the nurse he ordered, "I need a couple blankets for her; she appears to be going into shock."

"What does that mean, is she all right?" Martha asked from just behind the doctor, who was sitting on the coffee table next to the couch, Kate's arms around the older woman.

"I want to get her warm…" The doctor reached over into one of the nearby chairs, pulling a cushion off, placing it under the teen's legs. "Her breathing and heart rate should slow down in just a minute or so. She's over stressed herself; her body couldn't handle it and shut down." The nurse returned with the blankets, which they quickly covered Alexis with. "I'll watch her for a couple minute, if everything doesn't start to level out I'll move her to a room, but usually once this happens, the body has a way of calming itself."

A couple tense minutes passed as the four people watched the doctor continue to check Alexis's vitals, the nurse retrieving a blood pressure cuff as well. The doctor stood as the teen appeared visibly calmer, her breathing more regular that it had been. "She should be fine now, she needs to rest. I'll have the nurse come out every half an hour or so and check on her, but with some sleep and liquids once she wakes up, she should be okay. But don't hesitate to get someone if anything changes."

The young doctor stood as the ICU doors opened and Dr. Reynolds emerged, nearing the group. "Is she all right?" he asked the blond man, who quickly relayed what he had just told the assembled group. "Thank you Simon." Dr. Reynolds shook the younger man's hand, who then left the group.

When Dr. Reynolds turned back to Castle's family he saw some very worried faces. He motioned the group to sit as he took a deep breath and started, "Well, I have some good news and some bad news."


	10. Chapter 10

The Castle is Breached  
Chapter 9  
Disclaimer: See chapter 1

_A/N: Okay, you guys have been incredible! The wonderful reviews, the numerous visits and the record setting story alerts that I've gotten have truly overwhelmed me. I actually got really inspired this weekend because of you guys and got out another four chapters written and I'm still going. So in honor of the amazing support you guys have given me, I'm going to post a second chapter this weekend. I hope you guys enjoy and hopefully I'll be on the road to finishing my story. I have it plotted out how I want it to go, keep your fingers crossed that it all works out like I see it in my head. Thanks again, you guys are awesome!-Montez_

Martha Rodgers took a seat at the end of the couch her granddaughter had been asleep on for the past six hours. As she watched the teen's calm breathing she found it hard to believe that just twenty-four hours ago her family had been happy and healthy. Alexis getting ready for school, her getting ready for an audition that she honestly couldn't even remember now and her son, her son was smiling and joking with her about the part she was trying out for. He had been moving about the loft fixing breakfast for Alexis, coffee for her and himself, his laptop opened at the end of the counter as he paused to type notes for his next chapter. By the time Alexis had come down for school, the laptop had been retired to Richard's study and he was getting himself a bowl of the awful cereal Martha couldn't believe he ate, especially when he would make a point of having a nice breakfast made for his daughter and her each morning.

His phone had rung just as Martha grabbed her jacket and headed out the door, the look of wonder appearing on his face as it did anytime Detective Kate Beckett called. She had wondered as she closed the door when her son would ever be honest with himself and actually tell the attractive officer how he really felt about her. Now watching her granddaughter whimper again in her sleep Martha wondered how her life, her family's life could be turned upside down in the simple rotation of the clock.

It had been six hours since Alexis collapsed, since Dr. Reynolds had come out to tell them that Richard experienced a seizure that, unfortunately, Alexis had been witness too, inadvertently causing her collapse under the stress of her father's condition. The doctor had offered both good news and bad news when he had spoken with them; the good, Richard's fever had broken in the most dramatic of fashions. The bad being that during the seizure several of his sutures had been pulled open, requiring a return trip to the operating room to fix and make sure the repair to his lung and artery were not compromised. They, thankfully, had not been and after a five hour wait, Martha had just returned to the waiting room from being allowed to see her son.

"Martha…" The quiet voice of Kate brought the older woman out her thoughts as she looked up and saw the younger woman offering her a cup of coffee.

"Thank you dear." Martha took the offered beverage and stared at it a few minutes.

"How is he?" Kate asked as she took a seat across from Castle's family.

Martha looked up and tried to give a reassuring smile. "He's starting to get a little color back to him. Dr. Reynolds said they may consider taking him off the ventilator by this evening or tomorrow morning at the latest since, despite everything, his lung function is improving quicker than they expected."

"That's good…" Kate's and Martha's attention were again drawn to the teenager on the couch as she made a sobbing sound and mumbled for her father. It was breaking Kate's heart to hear such fearful, mournful sounds coming for the young girl who was normally the most mature acting of her family. It was then that Kate saw the little girl that Alexis still was. The little girl Castle was always afraid he was losing as she grew older. It was now that she completely understood his need to want to protect his daughter, even against the everyday things teen's her age had to deal with on their own. From the moment Beckett had walked into Alexis's school and watched as her normal, cheerful expression turned to disbelief then fear, Kate had wanted to protect her too, but this was something no one could protect her from and the only person Kate knew would ever make the teen feel safe and protected again was laying in a hospital bed because of her. No matter what Martha told her, nor Captain Montgomery or Esposito, Ryan or Lanie; Kate knew she was ultimately responsible for what had happened, she had allowed him to follow all this time. She had become complacent in the fact that they had survived so much together that she never wanted to think that their luck would eventually run out.

The two women jumped when Alexis sat up yelling, "Daddy!"

Martha moved quicker than Kate would have given her credit for as she moved to the other end of the couch and pulled Alexis tightly to her, whispering soothing words as she rocked the girl. "Shhh… its okay sweetheart, everything is going to be okay."

Fearful eyes looked up to meet Martha's, "Dad? He had…" Her words stumbled as Alexis tried to calm her breathing through her sobs, "God, Grams…he…" the teen buried her head again her grandmother.

"Your father never does anything halfway my dear, you know that. Nearly as dramatic as me, but he's going to be okay." Martha tried to sound upbeat but Beckett could see the strain everything was taking on her.

"What?" Alexis looked up, not sure if she heard right, for a few frightful minutes upon waking she was sure her father had left her. The last thing she remembered was his hand clinching in hers, so tight she was sure it would break some bones, then the horrific image of her father's body tensing as a seizure took over. She had thought for sure he was dying and that was something she just couldn't bring her heart or mind to accept, then she vaguely remembered her own world going dark.

Martha smiled at the young girl, "Your father's fever broke shortly after he experienced the seizure you apparently witnessed. Which you'll have to explain to me how you managed to be back there with him when the doctor hadn't cleared us to go back, but…" Martha waved her hand, "That's not important now, what is is that your father is on the mend now and if all goes well they may even take that awful tube out tomorrow morning at the latest."

Alexis looked between her grandmother and Detective Beckett, "Really? He's okay? He didn't…" Alexis couldn't bring herself to even say the word.

Kate couldn't say a word at the fear, then realization that crossed Alexis's face. The teen had actually believed her father had died in front of her, it broke Kate's heart. Martha's voice brought Kate's attention back to her, "You should know better than anyone, your father isn't going to do anything to purposely upset you." Martha pulled the teen close again, "Your father would never leave you, you know that."

Silence filled the waiting room as what was said finally sunk in through the terrifying fear that the teen had woken with. The soft ding of the elevator down the hall drew everyone's attention as Ryan, Esposito and Lanie emerged. Esposito and Lanie carrying drink carriers with coffee and what appeared to be a couple orange juice containers. Ryan carrying a bakery box, no doubt containing a breakfast neither Kate nor Martha had thought of. "I see our baby girl is awake." Lanie sat the beverage carrier on the table, taking a bottle of juice, opening it as she took a seat next to Alexis, who was still held close to Martha's side. "Drink this baby; it will make you feel better." Alexis smiled slightly as she took the bottle from the M.E., taking a small drink.

"One Castle giving us a scare is a little more than we can handle in a day." Esposito said as he sat on the coffee table in front of Alexis, "You feeling better this morning kiddo?" Kate was so proud of the people she worked with, they had accepted Castle, even before she did, but when they met Alexis it was like adopting a little sister. Though they would tease Castle when he would mention his worries about Alexis's current boyfriend or when she had wanted to go to her first dance and Castle was nervous. But, Kate knew that both Ryan and Esposito would quietly check out the people Castle would mention were in his daughter's life, though it was a gross waste of police resources, they were not about to allow something to happen to the people that had found their way into the detective's lives.

Alexis looked slightly embarrassed, but nodded as she took another drink of the juice, if for nothing else than to get Lanie to stop glaring at her until she did. "I think so, thank you…I didn't mean for any of this…"

Lanie patted the girl's leg, "Honey, none of us meant for any of this to happen. We just deal with what's in front of us and we'll get each other through it. So you focus on you and that attention-seeking father of yours and we'll be here if you need us, understood?"

"Thank you all, for everything." Alexis said as she looked at each of them, then to her grandmother, who pulled her into another tight hug.

"Well…" Ryan's voice broke the silence that had settled, "I don't know about anyone else, but I could really go for some breakfast right about now," He sat the pastry box down and opened it, an array of donuts and other pastries filled the white container to the top. "And I have dibs on the sprinkles." A small chuckle rose from the group as they slowly started to eat and wait for their next chance to see Castle.


	11. Chapter 11

The Castle is Breached  
Chapter 10  
Disclaimer: See chapter 1

A couple more hours passed before Alexis went back to see her father. Martha was with her, but allowed the teen to enter the cubicle first. She knew the young girl needed a moment to see that her father was still very much alive and to put to rest the horrifying images of her last visit with him.

Alexis moved slowly this time, hating that she was almost afraid to touch her father. The pink tinge of his cheeks was gone, replaced with an almost normal coloring, though still slightly pale, it was nothing like he had been before. The sheen of sweat was gone as well; her father's hair was pushed back from his forehead like someone had taken a wet cloth and wiped his face. Alexis noticed the breathing tube still in place, but the absence for the rhythmic operation of the machine was noticeable. However, as she watched, she noticed her father's chest slowly rising and falling on its own.

Martha stepped forward when she saw the confused look on Alexis's face. "Dr. Reynolds had the respirator adjusted so that it would only come on if your father needed a little extra help breathing, but for the last few hours he has been doing most of his breathing on his own."

Wordlessly, Alexis looked at him again. Slowly she moved her hand, laying it on his chest as it moved up and down. Under her fingertips she could also feel the steady beat of his heart. A sob escaped as she laid her head down on her father's shoulder, finally releasing the fear she had felt since witnessing the seizure.

Throughout the rest of the day, Martha and Alexis or Alexis and Kate would visit Rick during the allotted time. Kate made a point to keep a bit of distance from Castle, allowing Alexis time with her father. However as they would leave the room, Beckett would reach out and touch his leg or his arm, giving a gentle squeeze before leaving, she would never speak to him, she couldn't bring herself too, she just took in the comfort that he was indeed alive and on the mend, though he could still be a day or so away from waking.

As evening came Dr. Reynolds again approached the waiting room, quickly putting up his hands in a calming motion at the emotions that quickly played across the women and teen's face. "Everything is fine." He stated as he motioned everyone to sit down. "I just wanted to let you know, that for most of the day Mr. Castle has been breathing on his own so we are going to go ahead and remove the breathing tube this evening. We will also be cutting back on the sedative and allow it to work it's way from his system, hopefully giving him the chance to start waking up sometime tomorrow morning or afternoon, that part will be totally up to him." The doctor watched relief passing over the faces of those before him before he continued. "I'm going to allow one more visitation then I must ask that you all go home and get some rest. Once he wakes he is going to need your help and support and he won't have that if you all are too exhausted. Plus, this gives us a chance to keep him here in the ICU overnight to monitor him once we have removed everything and reduced the medication to make sure he is continuing to heal without anyone sneaking back who shouldn't be."

Dr. Reynolds gave Alexis a small smile as she glanced down toward her hands at the reminder of what she had done. The older man continued, "If all goes well we will move him to a regular room by tomorrow afternoon and hopefully home in the next week."

Alexis's eyes lit up at that, "Really?"

This time the doctor truly smiled, "Really, as long as he has help and doesn't overdue it. I believe with a little physical therapy his complete recovery should only take a couple of month."

"Oh, he'll have plenty of help; he won't have to do anything. I can take care of everything and if I can't, Gram can. He won't be left alone for a minute." Alexis started to ramble as Martha started laughing at the enthusiasm coming from her granddaughter, the girl turning toward her, "When we get home, I'll move his things into the living room, he won't have to go into his office and sit in that uncomfortable desk chair, he can write from the couch. I'll get his books and notepads ready. We'll have to buy his favorite foods, and ice cream, chocolate ice cream with all the stuff he likes…"

Kate could see Alexis's mind working a million miles a minute as the teen tried to think of every single thing she wanted to do to get ready for her father to come home. Again, as she watched, the guilt washed over her of what the young girl before her could have lost. Beckett made a mental note to talk with Captain Montgomery; she needed to figure out a way for this type of thing to never happen again. It broke her heart to think she was going to have to put a stop to Castle shadowing her, but if the past few days had shown her anything, there was no way she could possibly live with the guilt if Castle died because of her.

Kate's attention was drawn back to the man's family, the man that she was slowly realizing she loved, as they stood, following the doctor. "All three of you can come back if you'd like, then I'll meet you around eight tomorrow morning to go over how he is overnight and decide on moving him." Dr. Reynolds moved toward the doors, Alexis and Martha followed.

Kate hung back, her emotions again gaining ground until she felt Alexis take her hand, "You coming?"

Beckett gave her a weary smile, standing, "Of course," allowing the teen to pull her along through the silver doors.

An hour later had Detective Kate Beckett pulling into her parking spot at the 12th. She closed her eye's a moment; she had just dropped Martha and Alexis off at Castle's place with the promise to be back in the morning. Then with the thought still clear in her sleep deprived mind, she headed toward the precinct to speak with the captain. A few officers stopped her between the doors and the elevator inquiring on how Castle was doing. He had quickly made friends among the rank and file and it was clear to Beckett that what had happened to the writer was clearly felt among everyone who had met him, not just those who knew him personally.

Stepping into the elevator she closed her eyes as the doors closed. How was she going to do this? How was she going to find the strength to remove him for this part of her life? This was the largest part that kept them together. He was always at the precinct and when he wasn't he was with her on the way to or from a crime scene or an interview or, as with this last fateful time, an arrest. This was literally all they had. Yeah a few times they had gone to lunch or dinner, but that was because they had just wrapped up a case or were working on one. Cutting him out of this part of her life was removing him from nearly her entire life, because her job was her life. Could she really do that?

As the elevator stopped and the doors slide open, revealing the bullpen they had all walked out of just days ago. Now she was walking back in alone, she knew this wasn't about what she wanted. She wanted him around; she wanted him in her life more than anything, which was something she didn't realize until she felt him stop breathing on the floor of the suspect's house. But she needed to think of him, of Martha, but mostly of Alexis. She had promised Castle she would take care of Alexis if anything happened to him and now that that very thing had almost happened, she realized she didn't want to take care of Alexis, she wanted Castle to take care of Alexis.

So with the image of the terrified redhead in her mind she slowly moved around the corner that brought her into view of Esposito's and Ryan's desks. Both men hunched over doing one of the crappiest parts of police work, the paperwork. "Glad to see you guys are doing something while I'm not here." Kate had to laugh as both men jumped up at the same time, talking together.

"How's Castle?"

As both men looked at each other a moment, then back to Beckett, she noticed Captain Montgomery come from his office, approaching the three of them. "Sir…" She nodded.

"Beckett." He responded, watching her a moment. The expression on her face wasn't one he could readily describe, but a hint of sorrow was in her eyes. "Is everything all right?"

Clearing her throat she looked at the worried expressions of her friends before her. "Yeah. Castle's doing really good. The doctor sent us home for the night, he said they were going to take the vent out and start cutting back on the sedative. With any luck Castle might wake up sometime tomorrow and hopefully be home within the week."

"Really? That soon?" Ryan asked. Beckett could still clearly remember the haunted expression on Kevin's face once she and Alexis made it to the hospital. He had been there during both times that the writer's heart had stopped.

Nodding she answered, "That's what they are saying. Alexis was so excited she started naming off everything she was going to do to get the loft ready. It…" Kate took a deep breath, emotions inching their way closer to the surface again, "It reminded me of when Castle get's excited about something, the girl gets her excitability honest." Beckett glanced down as she felt tears well in her eye's, blinking rapidly to keep them from falling.

Esposito broke the emotion-charged silence, "Sure has been quiet around here. Forgot what it was like without Castle around. Can't wait till he's better."

"Yeah." Kate mumbled as she looked up, all three men watching her close. Clearing her throat she looked at the captain, "Sir, can I speak with you a moment?"

Again the older man was unable to completely read the expression on the young woman's face, but honestly he had a very good idea of what she wanted to talk about and he had already formed his own opinion on the subject, he just didn't know how it would coincide with hers. "Of course Detective." He stepped aside, motioning her into his office as Ryan and Esposito sat back down, both watching as the captain closed his office door.


	12. Chapter 12

The Castle is Breached  
Chapter 11  
Disclaimer: See chapter 1

_A/N:You guys are AWESOME, AWESOME, AWESOME...(I'm doing my 'you guys are awesome' dance!) 74 alerts to my little ole story, numerous favorites and such wonderful, inspiring reviews. How did I get so lucky to have such a wonderful bunch of people reading my story? Because you guys are so...i don't know-AWESOME. I'm giving you all another chapter. I'm currently on the down hill slope to finishing this story, but don't worry, several more chapters are still to be posted, as long as you guys still want them. Anyway, here's the next chapter for the most awesome bunch of readers a writer could possibly have. Did I mention you guys were awesome-didn't want to forget that. :) Thanks again!-Montez_

Dr. Reynolds met them at the nurse's station the next morning, a relieved smile on his face. "Good morning Mrs. Rodgers, Alexis, Detective Beckett." He greeted the group, who still looked tired but not as exhausted as the previous day.

"How is my son doing this morning?" Martha asked, subconsciously reaching for Alexis's hand as they had done throughout the ordeal.

"I'm pleased to say Mr. Castle had an uneventful night. All of his vitals are looking very good and he has shown signs of waking." He saw each person's eyes light up at that. "Though he hasn't woken up fully, he has moved slightly and he's responding to external stimuli, so I'm hopeful he will wake up in the next few hours. I am going to go ahead and have him transferred to a regular room so he can have some familiar faces around him when he does finally wake up. He will be extremely tired the next couple days. Between the medication he is still on and just his body's need to take care of itself he will probably only be awake a few minutes at a time and may appear incoherent, but that is normal. By tomorrow he should be able to stay awake for longer periods of time at which point we will start having him sitting up and out of bed as soon as we can to help with his recovery."

"So when can we see him?" Alexis piped up, looking a little more like the bubbly teen that Beckett was use to seeing instead of the terrified teen she had brought to the hospital that first day.

The doctor looked at his notes, "They will be moving him within the hour. His new room will be 325 if you all would like to go and wait for him there."

Martha smiled at Alexis as the teen hugged her. The older woman looked at Kate who returned a relieved grin, but the older woman could still see the sadness in the younger woman's eyes. Turning back to the doctor she held out her hand, "Thank you doctor, for everything. I don't know how to thank you for everything you've done for my son."

Accepting the outstretched hand Dr. Reynolds smiled, "I didn't do much, your son is the fighter and with the family and friends he has I can see why he fought so hard. He's a lucky man, in more ways than one." Beckett had extended her hand as well, the doctor shaking it.

However he was surprised when he released Beckett's hand only to have Alexis step up and hug him. "Thank you for taking care of my dad." She said, stepping back.

The doctor nodded and added, "If you all every have any questions you can have the nurse's page me." With that Dr. Reynolds turned and disappeared through the ICU doors.

"Well, I believe we should make our way to room 325 and await Richard's arrival. We all know he likes people watching as he makes an entrance." Martha commented as they turned and headed down the hall toward the elevators, Kate still noticeably quiet.

Forty-five minutes later Richard Castle was wheeled into his new room with considerably less equipment attached to him than they had previously seen. Most notably missing was the breathing tube; it was the first time Martha, Alexis and Kate had gotten an unobstructed view of Castle's sleeping face. "He's doing just fine." The nurse spoke softly as she adjusted the oxygen canal under his nose and checked to make sure the IV lines and heart monitor leads were not tangled.

Martha moved forward and gently laid her hand on the side of her son's face, leaning over to kiss his forehead. "You've carried this on long enough Richard. I think it's about time you wake up and stop us from worrying about you." She whispered softly as she ran her hand over his face and through his hair.

They each turned as the door opened again, an orderly wheeling in another chair since there were only two in the room. Smiling the young man left without a word. Alexis moved one of the chairs up to one side of her father's bed for her grandmother. She then pulled one to the other side for her. Kate took the chair along the wall, but with a clear view of Castle's face. They each took a seat and began their wait for their son, father and friend to wake up.

A few hours later Beckett stepped out of the room to call Esposito to let him know of Castle's room change and to get Martha to go to the cafeteria for something to eat. Alexis had insisted that she didn't want to leave her father alone; just in case he chose the moment that everyone left the room to wake up. The teen had brought a book to read while waiting, but as she read she became tired. With the quiet of the room, since her grandmother and Kate had left, she found herself dozing. She had moved her chair closer to her father's bed and decided to lay her head on the side of the bed, she would only take a short nap, then once her grandmother got back she'd go for a walk to wake herself up.

A faint beeping welcomed Rick Castle back to consciousness. He laid there a few moments just listening, trying to figure out where he was. He knew it wasn't his bed; he didn't have anything that beeped at his place. If there was ever any background noise when he woke up at home it was usually Alexis moving around in the kitchen or his mother walking around the loft going over lines for her auditions. The smell was all wrong as well. His place either smelt of whatever food they were cooking or of one of the many aromatherapy candles his mother had decided would best help with each of their 'creative needs'. But what he could tell of the smell he was now sensing, it was an unnaturally clean, chemical-type smell. His normally fast thinking brain wasn't putting all the pieces together. His mind felt foggy, like he'd had way too much to drink, but he hadn't drank like that in years.

He took in a deep breath, but stopped when a pain radiated across his chest. He tried to move his arm to his chest, but it seemed so heavy and he felt so tired. Castle finally realized if he wanted to figure out what was going on he would need to open his eyes. Slowly he blinked, taking a few times to finally get his eyes to cooperate, but when they finally did, he shut them quickly at the light in the room. On the second try he went more slowly, giving then time to adjust. It was a generic white-tiled ceiling that greeted him. Turning his head slightly he saw an empty pale-blue chair next to the bed he was in, it was then everything came together and he realized he was in a hospital bed. _'What am I doing in a hospital bed?' He thought as he turned his head toward the other side of the room to be greeted by a very familiar red head resting next to his hand._

"_Ale…" Rick tried to speak but it came out as a choked whisper. His throat stung at the effort, his mouth feeling like he'd chewed on a cotton ball. When his daughter didn't move he decided he needed to focus on moving his hand, hopefully being able to wake her and see what was going on. It took him a few seconds but he finally felt his hand slide a little, wincing at the pull in his chest, he slowly continued until he could feel her hair against his fingers. With a little more effort he raised his hand up and laid it on the sleeping head of his daughter, the most important person in his life._

_The reaction was almost instantaneous, like Alexis had been shocked. She jumped up; her eye's immediately going to her father's. "Dad?"_

_Rick offered a weak smile as the teen jumped to her feet, tears filling her eyes, her hand gripping his tightly, "Oh God, Dad…you're awake. Can you hear me?" Alexis reached up and placed a hand on her father's head._

"_Hey…" He barely whispered, licking his lips at the dryness in his mouth._

"_Oh, hold on…" Alexis released her hold on him, which he instantly missed, as she turned and poured a little bit of water in a cup. Turning she placed the straw to his mouth, much like he remembered doing for her the few times she had ever been really sick and the doctor having told him to make sure she got plenty of fluids. "Small drinks, take it slow." Alexis watched as he winced at the coolness going down his throat, then removed the cup as he tried to take a larger drink, "I said slow." she smiled at him as she retook his hand._

_His brow furrowed as he watched tears slip from his daughter's eyes. He struggled to reach his hand to her face, her smaller one holding his against her cheek, "Wh…ts..wr….n?" Rick's speech was broken, his mouth not wanting to work properly._

_Alexis smiled and sobbed at the same time, "I thought I lost you. Don't do that again." Her tone tried to sound serious but through the tears it was hard._

_Rick still couldn't remember what had happened to him that put such fear in his daughter's eyes. "S…r…y."_

_Castle felt his eyes slipping shut, he was so tired, but he wanted to take care of his daughter, to make that look go away, but his mind and body wasn't letting him. He felt her squeeze his hand, her other on his head as he opened his eye's again to meet hers, "You rest now, okay? You're getting better and you woke up, that's what is important. You sleep now and we can talk later." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, just like she had done since she was little. "I love you daddy." Alexis whispered as she pulled back, watching his eye's blink closed._

"_l…v…u…too" Rick replied as sleep pulled him under again._


	13. Chapter 13

The Castle is Breached  
Chapter 12  
Disaclaimer: See chapter one

Martha and Kate walked back into the room, the sight before them sent a moment of fear through both of them. Alexis sat next to the bed, one hand on her father's head, the other holding his hand against her cheek, tears streaming down her face. "Alexis, what's wrong?" Kate stepped forward, praying something terrible hadn't happened in the hour they were out of the room. It never registered with Kate, or Martha that the heart monitor continued to show a strong heartbeat. Their only focus was the tear-stained face of the teen.

When Alexis didn't answer right away, Kate knelt next to her, Martha just behind. The detective gently laid her hand on the teen's back, "Alexis?"

Kate's touch and voice seemed to snap the girl from her thoughts. She turned, still holding onto her father's hand and looked at the worried faces of her grandmother and Kate. "He woke up."

Both women looked at the, again sleeping, form of Castle. The only difference from when they had left the room was that Alexis was holding his hand and his head was slightly turned toward his daughter. "He woke up?" Martha asked as she looked back at her granddaughter.

"Just for a minute," The younger girl nodded, "He knew who I was." She smiled through her tears.

"Well of course he knew who you were. Your father loves you more than anything." Martha leaned over and kissed Alexis on the top of the head.

Kate looked at the face of the man she cared about, "Did he say anything else? Does he know what happened?"

Alexis looked up at the detective, "I don't think he does. He asked what happened, but he started getting sleepy again, then he fell back to sleep." The teen turned back toward her father, "But he woke up." The relief in her voice was indescribable. After looking at Castle's still form for a few moments the older women returned to their chairs, Martha sitting the juice she had gotten Alexis on the table next to the girl.

It would be another couple hours before Richard Castle's eyes would open again, this time memories would flood back with his waking.

A low moan drew Martha's attention to her son as he started to move his head back and forth. The older woman stood, taking her son's hand as Alexis moved closer to her father again as well. A muffled 'No', escaped his lips as his forehead scrunched in pain, his breathing becoming rapid.

"Richard?" Martha laid her hand on his shoulder, hoping the pressure would wake him. The older woman glanced at Alexis as her son's motions continued. "Richard, you need to wake up son, you're having a bad dream." Martha shook him gently this time.

A moment of panic filled Alexis as she felt her father's hand clinch in hers, memories of the seizure filling her. "Dad?"

"No….Kate…" Richard whispered, the sound becoming more frantic, "Kate…"

Martha looked at her granddaughter, "Perhaps you should see if Kate could come back in, maybe it will help dear."

Alexis nodded as she pulled her hand from her father's, moving quickly toward the door, pulling it open. Looking down the hallway the teen didn't see the detective to her left; looking to her right she finally saw the woman near the nurse's station down the hall on her phone. Jogging down the hall Alexis stopped next to Beckett, just as the woman turned, "Alexis?" The girl's expression setting off warning signals in the cop.

Castle's daughter grabbed Kate's hand, pulling her toward the room. "You need to come now, dad's having a nightmare and he's calling out for you."

"I'll call you back Lanie. " Quickly hanging up on the M.E., Kate jogged back down the hall, just ahead of Alexis.

When she stepped through the door, it seemed Martha was trying to hold her son still as he was tossing and turning in his sleep. Pain clear on his face, but Kate couldn't tell if it was from him moving around and pulling at his healing wound or if it was emotional as she heard his desperate call, "Kate!"

Just as Beckett reached the bed, Castle's blue eyes snapped open, confusion clearly seen in them. His breathing was rapid as his head darted from side to side. "God…Kate…" He called again as she reached for his hand.

Squeezing it she leaned over the bed, this was the closest she had been to him since he had arrived at the hospital. "I'm right here Castle…look at me." His eyes were still looking everywhere but at her. Kate glanced up when a nurse entered the room, alerted by the increase in his heart rate.

"He's having a nightmare." Martha told the woman who started to take vitals on Castle.

The younger woman looked at Beckett, "See if you can't calm him, we really don't want to have to sedate him again at this point."

Kate looked back at Castle as she saw tears well in his eyes, "Kate?"

Placing her hands on either side of his face, she turned him so they could see each other eye to eye, "Rick!" she said forcefully, hoping using his first name would get his attention faster. "Look at me Rick, I'm right here."

It took a minute before his eye's finally seemed to focus on her face, recognition taking over the fearful look, "Kate?"

"Yea Castle, it's me." A small smile crossed her face as he blinked, like he was trying to make sure he was really seeing her.

"you…ok?" His voice became sleepy again, but she could hear the underlying concern.

"I'm fine Castle" Kate held his face another moment to make sure he understood.

Blinking heavily, his eye's opened wide again to meet hers, "Gunshot…thought…was you." he mumbled. Repeating words she'd heard months ago when Ragland had been shoot in front of them. She had gotten blood on her shirt and for a few frantic seconds Castle had thought she had been shot.

"I promise you, I'm okay." Kate watched his eye's drift shut; she could feel his body relaxing as sleep pulled at him again. She gently released his face as his head settled back on the pillows, his heart rate starting to level out.

"Stay…with…me…Kate." He mumbled almost incoherently, but again it was words from the past that had her running her hand through his hair.

"I'm not going anywhere." She whispered in reply as he drifted back to sleep and tears made their way past her defenses.

Kate heard the nurse speak quietly to Martha before she left the room, but Beckett couldn't pull her eyes away from Castle's face. His last mumbled words were that last thing she vaguely remembered just as she lost consciousness in the freezer container those months ago. He had been there with her, tried fruitlessly to keep her warm, even as he himself was slowly freezing to death. Neither thought they were going to be found in time and as she felt the last of her energy flee her body, she had felt him pull her closer, was barely able to feel his fingertips against her face, but the whispered plea from him was that last thing she remembered. It was the same as now, he begged her to stay.

All the emotions she had put aside back then, through the bomb scare, through all the near misses they had experience over the last three years finally breached that wall she had built around them. This incident was the final straw that shattered her defenses as she felt all her fears flood to the surface. Kate reached up and touched his face again, forgetting that Martha was standing across from her, that Alexis was just behind her. She let her finger wipe away the tear that had slipped from the corner of his eye in his nightmare induced confusion. Glancing up at Martha the last of her resolve broke as Kate turned and quickly made her way out of the room.

"Gram?" Alexis looked from the closing door, to her grandmother, not understanding why Kate had left so quickly.

Martha made her way around the bed, pulling the teen to her. "It's all right dear…" Placing a kiss on the younger girl's forehead, Martha turned toward the door. "I think Kate has finally realized that she loves your father as much as we know he loves her." Alexis nodded, having known for while how her dad felt about the detective he had been following around. "I'm going to go check on her." Martha glanced at her son, then headed for the door to hopefully find the distraught young woman.


	14. Chapter 14

The Castle is Breached  
Chapter 13  
Disclaimer: See chapter one

Kate didn't know where she was going, only that she needed to move. The pleading in Castle's voice, the distraught and confusion she had seen in his eyes, it breached the defenses she was sure she had continued to fortify over the last three years. The first time she had seen the distraught look in his eye's was during the case where their suspect was killing people he thought had taken the forged passport he was trying to get his brother into the country with. She and Castle had been at the apartment of a woman seen on video buying a knockoff designer bag that said passport had been smuggled into the country in.

The suspect had tracked the woman and while they had been questioning her and finding the passport, the man appeared at the door. Castle had seen him first, reacting quicker than Beckett had thought possible as he grabbed her and they both fell to the ground as the man started shooting. Once they had reached cover they had argued a moment as she wanted to get a line of sight on the guy, but Castle was fussing at her to stay down so she didn't get shot. In that moment she had seen something in his eye's that unnerved her, she had never thought of him being able to take very much serious, but this was possibly the most serious and scared she had seen him up to that point, but it wasn't fear for himself that she saw, but fear for her.

They had come out of that encounter fine, him boasting later that is was his first 'gun battle', she'd remarked that it would be his last, little knowing how hollow those words would prove to be as he continued to follow her into dangerous situations. Yet, that is when her defenses started, she couldn't let him get that close to her, to where he would put himself in danger for her, but here they were. It had become second nature to her to have him around, trusting him absolutely to watch her back, even giving him a gun a couple times. She had grown complacent and now that complacency had lead to her walls crumbling, the emotion she didn't want to acknowledge coming at her full force and she just didn't know how to handle it, so she ran.

Martha had seen the change in her son a couple months after he had started shadowing Detective Kate Beckett. He would talk about her constantly, he wasn't going out much in the evenings, he had spent them writing and waiting for the young woman to call about another murder. She had watched her son fall in love years ago, with Kyra, but she had also watched as he let her walk away because he wanted her to be happy regardless of how he felt. It was during that time a couple of his darker novels had come out, but those were the ones that launched him into the stratosphere of crime novelist.

When Meredith came along, it had started out as a good time. She had helped pull him from the dark place he had slipped, but Martha never saw that same look in her son's eyes when he looked at the carefree red-head. But then she became pregnant with Alexis and Rick did the right thing and married her. Once Alexis arrived he became the devoted father while Meredith never really took to motherhood. It had hurt Richard when Meredith left, but it was more of what Alexis was losing than him, so he took full custody and never looked back. Meredith would pop into their lives from time to time, just long enough to disrupt the flow, then she would be off again.

When Richard had started dating his publisher, Gina, Martha wasn't really sure what he was doing. Gina was the total opposite of her son, buttoned up, always on a schedule, never looking at the fun in life if it didn't fit into her neat order of things. But they had gotten married anyway, for a time Martha thought that her son had married Gina to give Alexis a stable mother figure, but he soon realized that in Gina's view of things a preschooler was not her cup of tea. Though the woman was never mean to Alexis, she just never seemed that interested in what went on in the child's life. If Richard blew off a meeting to do something with his daughter, Gina would argue with him about it, telling him it was his career he was screwing up, never realizing that Richard was putting Alexis ahead of everything, like any good parent should.

That led to more and more arguments between the two and Richard had finally called it quits when he found out through someone at the publishing house that Gina was seeing someone else behind his back. Again Martha saw the hurt, but she knew it was more from Gina breaking his trust than any real depth of emotional commitment. After Gina there had been a few women in her son's life, but not nearly as many as the tabloids played at. Then came the encounter with Detective Kate Beckett at the book launch party for the finally Derrick Storm book. Within days he was writing again, and over the months the changes had started to show. Now when her son would speak of Kate, he had that same look in his eye's he did with Kyra and the 'it's not about the books anymore' statement just a few months ago confirmed it, her son was truly in love with Kate Beckett. But he wanted her to be happy and if that had meant stepping back while the detective dated other men, then Richard would do that, all because he wasn't sure if Kate felt the same about him.

But the look in Kate's eyes in the hospital room had given Martha a view of the young woman's soul and in that moment she knew without a doubt that Kate had finally realized just how much she loved Richard Castle and it had scared her. So like any woman with confusing, overwhelming emotions she needed time to figure them out. And that is what had Martha searching the hallways looking for the upset woman. It was the mother in her that drove her to look for Kate, the girl needed a mother right now.

Kate Beckett couldn't think clearly, so she searched out the quietest place she could find on the fourth floor, it was a waiting area at the opposite end of the hall where Castle's room was. The furthest she could get without actually leaving the floor, which for some reason she found she could not do. She had told him she wouldn't leave. The room was unoccupied, so there was only a single lamp on in the corner, she picked the couch in the opposite corner to sit on, pulling her knees to her chest, burying her head as sobs shook her body. This was so unlike her, she was always the strong one, always in control, but the last few days had shaken that control and the last few minutes shattered it completely.

The fear in his eye's, the pleading in his voice, that lone tear that she had wiped away as he drifted back to sleep, she knew he cared about her, but did he really care that much? So much that even as he lay in the hospital from a gunshot wound that he would call out for her in his nightmare, fearing she was the one hurt. Then his words, words he had used in the past few months, both during times their lives had been in danger and his only thoughts had been of her. How did she miss it? And why did it take him literally dying in front of her to realize how much she cared about him?

All the images flooded her mind, their first meeting, his over the top flirting. The funny quirps, outrageous scenarios about cases that sometimes didn't turn out to be so outrageous, him watching her back, saving her life more times than she could count. The looks she overlooked when she was going out with Demming, then the bomb. Three different times in two days they had thought they were going to die, but each and every time Castle had been right there with her. Listening to her lament about her absentee boyfriend, about how she wished she had someone who would be there for her and her for him, never once pointing out that he was always there for her and her never once making the connection.

Then the freezer, she still had nightmares about the freezer, she would find herself shivering even on the hottest days, never noticing that Castle would occasionally wear an extra overcoat on days that others would gladly shed unneeded clothing. Finally the bomb, face to face with the last two minutes of their lives and it was him that was standing there with her, grabbing her hand to let her know she wasn't going to have to die alone. However it was in the precinct later that she really saw something different in his eyes, her heart had skipped a beat a moment, though at the time she had written it off to surviving a near explosion, but then his posture changed ever so slightly as he said he was going home to rest and turned to leave. Her mind didn't put everything together fast enough before Josh's arms encircled her, but as she watched the elevator doors close on Castle's form leaning against the back of the lift she felt her heart break just a little.

A week later Josh was gone to Haiti after they broke up, he just wasn't there for her the way she needed him to be, yet Kate never told Castle. And now, now she knew the man she had been talking about while in quarantine, the man she had always wished would be there for her and she could be there for him was now lying in a hospital bed having nightmares that he had lost her and it was her that could have lost him without even realizing it.

Kate didn't know how long she had been sitting there, but she didn't even flinch when she felt someone sit down next to her and put their arms around her. She allowed the person to pull her over into a comforting hug as she was slowly rocked. "It's okay dear, you let it all out." Her comforter whispered. It never occurred to her why Martha Rodgers was holding her, comforting her as she cried. It never occurred to her why the woman wasn't in the room with her only son instead of being in the waiting room holding her while Kate finally gave in to the feeling she had for the woman's son. All Kate knew was for the first time since her own mother had died she felt the safety and love only a mother could provide and she clung to it like a life preserver.

"I love him…" Kate whispered through the tears and hiccupped breaths, never looking up, as Martha rubbed comforting circles on her back.

"I know dear…I know." Was all Martha said as she continued to comfort the younger woman, thinking now if these two crazy kids would just tell each other a lot of heartache could finally be put to rest.


	15. Chapter 15

The Castle is Breached  
Chapter 14  
Disclaimer: See chapter one

Kate entered Castle's hospital room two days later to find the novelist sitting up in a chair near the window. "I see you finally decided to get out of bed." She smiled at him as he glanced toward the door.

Her heart melted at the big smile that spread across his face as she took the chair across from him, "Yea, they won't let me try and set the record for longest time staying in bed, something about me not healing properly if I stayed in bed." He winced a little as he shifted in the chair.

"You okay?" She instinctively reached out and touched his arm.

"I just forget sometimes that I can't move as quickly as I'd like." He patted her hand then left his covering hers.

After a moment she pulled back, still not sure if this was the time to tell him everything she had come to realize in the past several days. "So where are Alexis and your mother?"

This was the first Kate had been in the room and one of them hadn't been there. "I managed to convince Alexis that I would be just fine if she returned to school, but…" He held up his phone that his daughter had snuck in to him, "I have to text her every hour. And mother said she had a few errands to run before they sent me home day after tomorrow." Rick looked at her closely. He knew from his mother that Kate had stayed with them during those first couple days and he hated that he had been the reason the beautiful detective now looked so tired. "So what about you? How are things going on the murder front?"

She glanced toward the window before looking back at Castle, "Ryan and Esposito have been covering for me, I head back in today."

A moment of surprise covered his face, but he wasn't going to let her know he knew she hadn't been to work since everything happened, "Why detective, did you really take a few days off?" He smirked slightly, hoping to remove the forlorn look on her face.

She took a moment to answer as her emotions started to creep back up, taking a deep breath she again met his blue eyes, the ones she had watched slip closed that dreadful day. "You asked me to look after Alexis and I said I would until you were better. Now that you're getting better I figure I can hand that job back to the person whose responsibility it is to take care of his daughter." She hated that she could feel anger growing inside her, but it was more anger toward herself than him, but as usual she somehow was focusing it on him. Guilt washing over her as her tone registered and a hurt expression crossed his face for only a second before he recovered with a solemn one.

"I'm sorry." Castle said looking toward the window. Again the freezer flashing in her mind as he had apologized then too for something he really had no control over.

"Look Castle, I'm…" Kate started but stopped when tired looking eyes met hers.

"I'm tired Kate," She knew she had hurt him by his defeated tone and admittance that he was tired, "They had me out in the hall most of the morning, I think I should rest a bit before Alexis get's here." He slowly moved toward the edge of the chair, preparing to get himself up and back to the bed.

Beckett stood to offer him help, but he shrugged her off, "I've got it, thanks." The nurse had told him to call when he wanted to get back in the bed, but there was no way he was going to show anymore weakness in front of Kate. He could tell she was angry with him over what had happened, but he just wasn't ready for the verbal sparing that usually came after one of his careless mistakes that would put him in danger.

Beckett watched as he slowly got up, his hand going to his chest as he stood. She could see the pain crossing his face as he stubbornly made his way back to the bed unassisted. It took all her restraint to not help him, even after he had told her no, but she recognized the look in his face, he was putting on a front for her and she hated that she had pushed him to do that.

Once he was seated on the edge of the bed he gave her a half-hearted smile, "See, be running the New York Marathon before you know it."

Just then the door opened as the nurse came through, "Mr. Castle…" Kate watched him cringe at the woman's tone, knowing he had been caught.

Beckett reached over and touched his arm, "I'll be going now. Call if you need anything and try not to give the nurses too much trouble." She tried to return the smile, but the tension between them made it difficult.

"Watch your back detective." He said softly as concern filled his eyes. She smiled sadly again and left the room.

It was another two days when Ryan sat a cup of coffee down on Beckett's desk; she glanced up to see him and Esposito looking at her. "What?"

"You doing okay?" Ryan asked as he pulled his desk chair over to her desk, Javier leaning against the side. No one had sat in 'Castle's' chair since the shooting.

Looking at the two men before her, she reminded herself how grateful she was to work with such great people, but right now all she wanted was to be left alone. "I'm fine guys, really."

It hadn't escaped the two men that since she had arrived at the precinct two days ago that she had been staying later and coming in earlier than normal, obvious to them both that she hadn't visited Castle. When she had showed up that day, she was unnaturally quiet, only saying that Castle was doing better when they had asked before burying herself in paperwork.

The two male detectives had visited Castle that afternoon and found the normally talkative writer somewhat withdrawn, but they initially wrote it off to what had happened to him, being shot and nearly dying had a way of changing people. Alexis had called a couple times to let them know how her father was doing and to let them know he would be getting released today.

"So have you heard from Alexis today, wasn't Castle suppose to be headed home?" Esposito asked.

"I think so." Kate said quietly as she sipped her coffee, secretly wishing it was the coffee Castle would normally bring her. God she missed him, she hated that she had left things they way she did, him probably thinking she was mad at him, when she was really mad at herself, but as usual she wasn't exactly sure how to fix it without giving too much away. She didn't know if she was ready to tell him how she felt, since if things went the way she wanted she would be cutting him out of a very huge part of her life soon.

The two men exchanged looks again before heading back to their own desks. Kate picked up her phone and pulled up the text message she had received that morning; 'Going home today, will I see you?' She never responded, she didn't know how to. She wanted to see him, needed to if pressed. Since that day she'd been having nightmares where he didn't make it and she was left standing in front of his gravestone. She knew he would put her harsh tone behind them when they saw one another again, but she couldn't put the guilt behind her. The ding of the elevator and Esposito's raised voice pulled Beckett from her thoughts as she looked toward the lift.

"Hey man, look who it is…" Javier smiled as he watched Richard Castle slowly step from the elevator, Alexis and Martha at his side.

"Hey Castle, how are you doing?" Ryan asked as he approached his friend, shaking his hand after Esposito did.

"I've been better, but I'm getting there. How's things been around here?" Castle asked, tiredness could be heard in his voice even as he tried to hide it.

"Oh man, it's been way to quiet." Javier spoke as they led Castle toward their desks.

Captain Montgomery, hearing the commotion exited his office and met Castle as he stopped near the guy's desks. "Well, look who's up and around. How are you doing Castle?" Then the captain glanced at Alexis and Martha, "or maybe I should be asking you two how he's doing."

Alexis smiled, looking at her father, then the captain. "He insisted that we stop here on the way home. He promised it would only be for a few minutes, since…" The teen gave her dad a hard look, "He is suppose to be home resting."

"What?" Castle looked at his daughter, "Between you and Gram I won't be allowed to leave the house for the next month, figured I should enjoy my freedom while I could." As Rick spoke, his eye's searched the room finally finding the one person he was the most desperate to see, Kate Beckett.


	16. Chapter 16

The Castle is Breached  
Chapter 15  
Disclaimer: See chapter one.

"Can you all give me a minute?" Castle asked as everyone seemed to be talking at once. Beckett hadn't moved from her desk, but her eyes hadn't left the writer who had come to mean so much to her.

"Dad?" Alexis's voice caused everyone to quiet.

"I'm okay sweetheart, just a minute then we'll head home." He looked into the worried eyes of his daughter, kissing her on the head, "Promise."

Alexis glanced in the direction her father was looking and saw Kate. It had baffled the teen as to why the detective hadn't visited her father the last couple days, especially after all that had happened, but if she knew her father he would share it with her eventually. "Okay." She whispered as she released his arm.

Slowly Castle made his way the fifteen feet that separated him from his chair. Without a word he came around and slowly lowered himself into his normal spot. "Hey."

"Hey." Kate said as she looked at him, her heart skipping a beat to see him in his chair. "You finally escaped huh?" She was desperate to get some of their banter back, she had missed it.

"Yeah, but I don't know what's worse, the hospital or having them two watching me night and day. I may need to be rescued in a few days." He smiled a little, the hint of his normal twinkle flashing in his eyes.

Nodding her head toward Ryan and Esposito she replied, "I'm sure the guys will find a way to spring you."

Again the look of disappointment flashed in his eyes as he glanced at his hands. "Look, I'm sorry this happened and I can understand why you're upset with me, but…"

Kate raised her hand, stopping him mid-sentence. "I can't… I can't do this right now, okay." She hated herself for this, why couldn't she just tell him, but in typical Castle fashion she felt exposed, he was reaching out to her in the middle of the bullpen and this was not the place she could lose it, so she stopped him. Seeing the hurt and confusion in his eyes had her reaching for his hand. Taking it in hers, she relished the warmth from it, when his fingers reflexively curled around hers; she took a moment to remember he was still alive, still there. Closing her eyes to stem the tears trying to form, Kate took a deep breath and looked up into the face of the man before her. "Go home Rick, you need to rest so you can get better. I promise, we'll talk, but I just can't right now, okay?"

"Okay." He said, bringing her hand to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on the back before releasing it. Putting his hands on the arms of the chair, he slowly pushed himself up. Beckett jumped to her feet when he swayed, "Whoa…"

"Castle?" Kate called out.

"Dad?" Alexis's voice came closer as she watched her father bring his hand to his chest.

Closing his eye's a minute Castle took a slow, deep breath. "Got up too fast." He mumbled as he held tight to Beckett's arm. "Just give me a minute."

Kate looked over toward Ryan and Esposito, who had stepped closer, but were still a short distance away. "Guys, maybe you should ride down with Castle and his family."

"I'm fine Kate, just a little dizzy." Castle's eyes met hers, it taking her breath at how exhausted he looked.

"Yeah, but just in case, the guys will go down with you. Not that I doubt their ability to help you, but if your legs give out I don't think your mother or Alexis are gonna be much help. Just don't argue and let the guys help, please." Beckett looked over at Martha and Alexis seeing that her remarks weren't taken the wrong way, again all she saw was appreciation.

"Please, Dad?" Alexis asked as she took a hold of his arm.

Giving his daughter a tired smile, "Okay, pumpkin, if it will make you feel better."

Alexis tip-toed and kissed his cheek, "It would."

Rick met Kate's gaze again with a slight smile, "I'll see you around detective." With that Castle started slowly toward the elevators, Alexis on one side, his mother on the other, Ryan and Esposito following behind.

It was little over a week before Castle was able to actually talk to someone at the 12th. He had called Beckett a few times, leaving voice messages when she didn't answer. He knew they needed to talk, but he couldn't understand why she wasn't returning his messages. He finally texted her, the response was two words, 'Big Case'. When a couple more days passed he finally called Esposito to see what was going on, "Hey, Castle, how are you doing?"

Castle was staring at the blank screen of his laptop, but smiled slightly at the friendly voice that had finally answered one of his phone calls. "Was beginning to think all you guys were mad at me again, like last time." Castle chuckled a little, "But seriously, I'm feeling a little better, still sore and a little to tired for my liking. So what's been going on with you guys? I've called Beckett, but she hasn't called me back."

"Yea, man about that, this last case was a serious pain. Way to many people to sort through, we only just broke it last night. Been spending most of today on paperwork." Esposito glanced at Kate across the room; she had a file open in front of her, but didn't really appear to be seeing it. They had all seen how the absence of Castle had affected the female detective. She had tried to hide her emotions by focusing solely on the case, but it was moments like now, when she didn't think anyone was looking that they all would notice her staring off, or glancing at the empty chair next to her desk.

"Is she doing okay?" Castle asked quietly.

"About as good as the rest of us man, believe it or not you are missed around here so you better get better soon or we just might have to come set up shop at your place." Esposito said as he refocused on the conversation he was having.

"Look, Esposito…I…" Castle hesitated, not really sure how he was going to ask his friend the next couple questions.

Javier sat up a little straighter at the change in tone he heard in his friend's voice, something was a little off. "Hey man, you okay?" At that comment Ryan turned from his work, looking toward his partner, concern showing in his face. "Castle." Esposito whispered to let Kevin know who he was talking to. When it took Castle a moment to respond, the detective shot Ryan a worried look before glancing toward Beckett, who hadn't noticed he was on the phone. "Castle?"

"Yeah, sorry…" Rick started again, hearing the worry in the detective's voice. "Look, I was wondering…did, did you guys keep my vest?"

Ryan slid his chair closer to his partners' desk as the Hispanic man's eyes looked slightly panicked. "Yea man, we kept it. It's in evidence, but I don't think they still need it, why?" Javier knew exactly why Castle wanted his vest. He knew of many cops, himself included, who had been hit while wearing their vest and just needed to see it, to truly realize just how close they came. Granted Castle had come a little closer than most.

"I was wondering if I could get it back. I just… you know I just want to see it." Castle responded.

"Sure, I think I can get it for you." Esposito replied.

Castle cleared his throat before he continued, "There's something else.""Just name it man." Esposito had a feeling he knew what was coming next, but waited for the writer to speak.

"Do you think you could stop by later?…I want…I need to know what happened. No one has told me anything other than what the doctor's explained. I just want to know what happened; I can't remember much of it and need someone to fill in the blanks." Castle listened for a response, not sure if it was a good idea to get the unfiltered version of his shooting, but he needed to know.

Esposito paused a minute, bringing his hand to his forehead. That was exactly what he was expecting. Looking back up at Ryan's worried face he answered. "Sure, I could come by later when I get off, but are you sure you don't want to talk to Beckett about this?"

"I think she's still mad at me and honestly, I think I could handle it better if it came from you." Castle wasn't about to admit that there was no way he could stand to see Kate's face as she recounted his shooting, even if she would. Plus he knew she would probably never bring him his vest.

"So you just want 'me' to come?" Esposito didn't know if it would be a good idea for Ryan to go, especially since Ryan had helped Beckett with the CPR and been in the ambulance when Castle had crashed the second time. Honestly of the three detectives Esposito could probably be the most emotionally distant when recounting the story, but he also knew it would take all his training to get it all out, Castle, after all, was a good friend.

"If you don't mind. I think…I think the less people around at the time the better. Alexis is going out with Ashley and mother is meeting a friend for dinner." This would be the first night since he had come home that they would be leaving him alone for a few hours, but only because he had threatened to lock himself in his room if they didn't.

"Okay, I'll be there about six," Esposito answered, "and I'll try to get your vest for you."

"Thanks, see you then." Castle responded then hung up.

Returning the phone to its base, Javier looked over at Ryan, glancing again toward Beckett than back to his partner. "He wants his vest," Esposito noticed Kevin pale a little; he knew his partner had been having a tough time with what had happened too. "He also wants to know what happened."


	17. Chapter 17

The Castle is Breached  
Chapter 16  
Disclaimer: See chapter one

_A/N: Well, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news; I finally finished this story. The good news; I finally finished this story ;) _  
_Don't worry though we still have a few more chapters left. After watching the finale it was really, really hard to not to let what happened on the show influence my story._  
_But alass, I refrained from watching it over and over and tried to focus on the way I wanted this story to end. So when we get there just remember in my little world the season_  
_hasn't ended yet. Oh and on another note-YOU GUYS ARE TOTALLY AWESOME AGAIN! of course the wonderful reviews have been great, but what has continued to blow me_  
_away has been the story alerts, over 90 alerts-I'm speechless, okay maybe not speechless, but you know what I mean. Thank you all so much for the continued support and_  
_since this is a completed story I'll be posting chapters quickly, hopefully all up by Monday or Tuesday. Anyway-Thanks again-Montez_

It was around six when there was a knock at Castle's door. Slowly making his way across the room he pulled it open to see Javier Esposito standing there, a large brown paper bag held in his right hand. "Hey man, thanks for coming." Castle said as he stepped back letting the male detective into the apartment.

"No problem." Javier replied, stopping a few feet from the writer.

"Could I get you something to drink, soda? Water? Beer?" Rick walked toward the kitchen, Esposito following.

"Water'd be fine, thanks." Normally Esposito wasn't nervous talking to Castle; they'd had some wild conversations since the author had started hanging around the 12th, but now, he wasn't sure what he was suppose to say. "You're looking a lot better than the last time I saw you."

Handing Javier the water Castle started toward the couch, motioning for Esposito to follow. "I'm slowly starting to feel better, this is the first Alexis and Mother have left me alone, I was about ready to make a jail break if they didn't go out soon." Castle glanced at the younger man, "This really scared them. I guess I never really thought something like this would happen."

Before sitting Esposito held out the brown sack, "Here's your vest. We won't need it back." Castle reached and took the item, looking at the wrapped package a minute.

"Thanks." He mumbled as he walked toward his office. Less than a minute later Rick returned to the room, pulling the door closed. "Please take a seat."

Both finally sat down, Esposito on the sofa, Castle taking the chair across from him. It was Esposito that spoke first. "So…what is it you wanted to know about?" The detective knew this was going to be a tough conversation and wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible.

Castle leaned back in the chair, bringing one hand up to his face, rubbing his eyes before speaking, "I don't remember any of it, so I guess everything. Last thing I remember clearly was walking into the precinct that morning."

Esposito moved forward a little, took a quick drink of his water, placing it on the coffee table. Taking a deep-breath he looked at his friend. "We got a break in the case and figured out where the two suspects were hold up, so he headed there. Everything went normal as we entered the house, we found both men sitting at the kitchen table. When we showed ourselves, Stevens stood up, gun in hand about half way raised. Marks stood up, hands going up without a problem, but there was a gun lying on the table where he'd been sitting. We kept ordering them to get down on the floor, Stevens started to lower his gun and back away from the table, but when Beckett took a step forward Marks reached for the gun on the table and got a shot off before we realized what was happening. Needless to say we took him out and Stevens dropped his gun and got on the ground pretty quick after that." Javier paused a minute to make sure Castle was still following along. The expression on the writer's face told Esposito that Castle was desperately trying to remember what happened.

Looking at his clasped hands Esposito started again, hesitant to look his friend in the face. "We just thought the shot went wide. It wasn't until we had Stevens in cuffs that we heard Ryan ask you if you were hit." Taking another deep-breath Javier looked back at his friend. "It was almost like everything slowed down after that, you were leaning against the wall, trying to catch your breath. You told me it did feel like getting hit with a hammer and just as Beckett made it to you, your legs gave out. Ryan and Beckett tried to keep you steady while Beckett tried to get you slow down your breathing; it was then that I saw…" Esposito leaned back, bringing his hand to his face, giving his eyes a hard rub, trying to remove the image of the blood trail that smeared down the wall to where his friend had ended up. "I couldn't even get my mind to work fast enough to get a call for help out. Beckett's voice snapped my attention back to you guys and away from the trail of blood that you left on the wall, it was then she finally saw what I was staring at. They got you out of your vest so Beckett could get pressure on the wound and I called for help." Leaning forward again Esposito noticed how pale Castle had become. "You okay man?"

"I'm good…why didn't my vest stop the round? I got it from the same place law-enforcement get theirs" Rick asked.

"We found out afterwards, that Marks had armor-piercing rounds in his gun, Stevens didn't even know Marks had them." Javier paused again, the memories of that day and those few minutes came rushing back as he tried to keep his voice steady. "It seemed like forever before we heard the ambulance. You asked Beckett to get Alexis and take care of her. Then you…then you stopped breathing." Esposito watched as Rick leaned forward, his head held in his hands that were obviously shaking.

Javier was next to his friend in an instant, placing a hand on the older man's shoulder, "Castle? You still with me man?" He could feel the shivers going through his friend's body. Esposito was beginning to second guess whether he should have told Castle everything, but he also knew if he didn't tell him the writer would ask Ryan and Javier just didn't know if his partner could recount what happened.

"I didn't know that part." Castle mumbled. His own imagination had come up with the scenario surrounding the shooting that almost followed what Esposito had told him, but that last part, he was sure he would have blacked out at some point, but the fact he actually stopped breathing. That part never entered his mind, he had died and no one had mentioned that part to him. The most the doctor's would say was it had been very close in the beginning, they had explained his blood loss, the fever and seizure, but none of them had mentioned that his heart had stopped. "Was the ambulance there by then?" The image that flashed in his mind was one he prayed didn't really play out.

"No it wasn't…Beckett and Ryan started CPR." Javier replied.

Castle stood quicker than Esposito would have thought possible, making his way toward the small hallway off the living room, reaching for the wall as he stumbled a little, Esposito right behind him, "Castle?" Reaching the room he was looking for, Rick felt the hardwood floors connect, unforgiving, with his knees, wracking his whole body with the shock of the impact before he doubled over the toilet, throwing up what little had eaten that day.

Javier followed him; he paused at the bathroom door as he saw the writer throw-up. When the dry-heaves seemed to be easing Esposito grabbed a wash cloth from the sink, wetting it with cold water, then grabbing the tumbler, filling it with water. He reached down and helped get his friend to his feet, helping to steady him against the sink counter. Esposito watched as shaking hands took the cup of water, slowly taking a sip, then spitting it out, then a small drink. Using the wash-cloth Rick whipped his mouth, "Sorry about that." He whispered.

"You've got nothing to be sorry about man." Javier responded, "You think you can make it back to the chair?"

Taking a steadying breath Rick nodded, "Yea." Slow Esposito and Castle made their way back to the living room. Several minutes passed as Rick seemed to be getting his bearings. When he looked up at the detective he saw worry and concern looking back at him. "Nobody told me that part."

Another few minutes passed before either man spoke, "Is Ryan doing okay?" Castle asked quietly, some of his color starting to come back.

"He's doing okay; we've talked about it some. Ryan rode with you to the hospital, it happened again on the way. It shook him up pretty good, but once we knew you were going to be okay, that helped him a lot." Esposito watched the man across from him closely as the writer was trying to process everything.

"That's why Beckett's upset with me." Castle mumbled to himself, not aware that Esposito could hear him.

"She's not mad at you…this really, really scared her. She's mad at herself for letting you get hurt. She hasn't really dealt with this; she's thrown herself into work so she wouldn't have time to think about what happened. Those first few days she stayed so focused on taking care of your mom and Alexis, that she was able to push it aside and not think about it. Once you woke up, she just didn't know how to start dealing, but man this has done a number on her, when she's not tunnel-visioned on a case, she's staring off into space." Javier didn't feel bad telling Castle how Beckett had been acting, everyone but the two people involved knew how the female detective and her writer shadow felt about one another, they were all just waiting for them to figure it out.

"It wasn't her fault." Rick commented quietly. "If anything I shouldn't have been there to start with, it's just become so…"

"Normal?" Esposito added.

Rick nodded his head, "I've never thought anything would really happen as long as I was with you guys, as long as I came in behind everyone. It's my fault."

"Look, it's nobody's fault except for the guy who took the shot. We've gotten use to you being there, look how many times you've seen something that we didn't. It wasn't your fault and it wasn't Beckett's, both of you need to understand that." Javier looked at his friend, "But I do know one thing, since this happened Beckett's changed, you guys need to talk about this or neither of you are going to be able to get past it."

Esposito's expression turned very serious, he needed Castle to understand something but wasn't really sure he should bring it up, but with all that had happened it needed to be out in the open. "What I'm gonna say may be way out of line, but at this point I really don't care, because it's gone on long enough. It's obvious you care a lot for her…" Esposito raised his hand as Rick sat up and tried to interrupt. "No, you're gonna hear me out on this. We all see it, the looks, the little thing you do for her, the way you act around her, the way you're always there for her, man everyone can see it. But we have also seen how much Beckett cares about you. Now I don't know if you know it or not, but she is a totally different person when you're not around, and I don't mean that in a good way. In all my time working with Beckett, she has smiled more and been more relaxed the last couple years since you've been coming around. That thing with Demming was her trying to distract herself, but when you left with your ex, that hurt her, but it really wasn't your fault. Beckett hadn't got the chance to tell you that they had called it off with Demming. Same with Josh, they broke up a few weeks ago, but she never said anything to you. I think she was finally seeing what everyone already knew, then this happened and she got scared. She's been trying to figure everything out, that's why she hasn't called you, I don't think she knows what to say."

Rick was dumbfounded, he knew how he felt for Beckett, but was afraid to act on it not sure how she would take it. Now Esposito was telling him that everyone had been able to tell how they felt about one another, but both of them were hesitating, neither making a move for fear of what it could mean. Castle still didn't know what to think, he was still trying to process the shooting and now he had even more to try and figure out. He knew he needed time to think, so he slowly stood. "Thank you for being honest with me, about everything, not just the shooting. Thanks too for getting me my vest back, but I'm starting to feel worn out…" Castle started toward the door, Esposito silently kicking himself for being so blunt about how Beckett was doing on top of telling Castle what happened during the shooting.

"Look, I'm sorry if I overstepped." Javier paused as Castle opened the door.

"Don't be, it's just…you've given me a lot to think about." Castle held out his hand for Esposito to shake.

"If you need anything, please call, okay?" Javier said as he walked out the door.

"I will." Rick smiled slightly, but it didn't reach his eyes, "Thanks again for everything; I'll talk to you later." With that Javier started down the hall toward the elevator. Rick closed the door, then headed toward his office.


	18. Chapter 18

The Castle is Breached  
Chapter 17  
Disclaimer: See chapter one

Lanie walked into the nearly deserted precinct looking for her best friend. Javier had called her just before he left work, letting her know he was heading to Castle's place. He told her that the writer wanted to know what happened the day of the shooting and asked her to check on Beckett once the medical examiner was off shift. The last few weeks had been rough on everyone, but she knew her best friend was dealing with more than just the shooting, she had seen how her friend had finally started to see just what the writer meant to her.

As Lanie made her way toward Kate's desk she saw the detective staring at the empty chair that sat next to it. "He's gonna be back there pestering the daylights out of you soon enough Sweetie." Lanie said quietly as she placed her hand on her friend's back.

Kate took a deep breath and rubbed her face as she leaned back into her chair, "Not if I can help it." her voice just a whisper.

Lanie wasn't sure she had heard the woman before her correctly, "What do you mean, not if you can help it?" Lanie pulled another chair over to sit next to her friend.

Looking up into the other woman's face Kate cleared her throat, tears dancing near the edges of her eyes. "I talked to Montgomery; I told him I didn't think it was a good idea if Castle came back."

"Oh Baby, why'd you do something like that?" Lanie reached out and touched Kate's arm.

"Did you miss the whole part where he got shot because I let him follow me?" Kate's voice took on a hard tone Lanie had heard before when the detective was trying to maintain a sense of control when dealing with an emotional subject. "Lanie, he could have died and it would have been my fault, do you realize that?"

Lanie never sugarcoated anything, especially when she was dealing with Kate Beckett. "You honestly think it was your fault?"

"I know it was, if I had put a stop to this three years ago, Castle wouldn't be recovering from a bullet, his daughter and mother wouldn't have had to go through the trauma of all of this and I wouldn't have to face that fact that I'm in love with him." Emotion had won and Kate had shared way more than she had wanted. She realized it was terrible that it took him literally dying in front of her for her to realize what her friends and co-workers had been hinting at for so long.

"Well thank God that's finally out in the open, I was beginning to really wonder at just how blind you were when it comes to a man doing his damnest to impress you." Lanie's tone could just as easily match Beckett's tone when needed, and Lanie wasn't afraid to stand her ground against the stubborn detective.

"Lanie, he almost died, hell he did die. The whole time Ryan and I did CPR all I could think about was how bad I've treated him over the years, and he just kept coming back. He's always taken the brunt of my anger, my sarcasm, my complaining about how the men in my life were never really there for me and all that time he was right there, in every situation, every time it seemed my life was in danger he was right there by my side and I never really put it all together until I felt his heart stop." Kate stood and started pacing, tears streaming down her face. "In that moment I couldn't imagine him not in my life, but it was because of me that he was lying there." Pausing Beckett looked at her best friend, "I can't lose him that way, but if I let him come back next time we might not be so lucky and I can't…I just can't."

The M.E. watched as the fight seemed to completely drain from her friend. She stood and crossed the few feet that separated them, taking her friend into a tight hug, "its okay, you let it all out." It was a few minutes before Kate straightened then sat back in her seat, Lanie reclaiming hers. "In this grand plan of yours to keep him from coming back, do you really think it's going to work? What did Montgomery say when you told him that you didn't want Castle back?"

Kate reached across her desk, taking the bottle of water that sat on the edge; taking a small drink she turned to face Lanie. "Honestly, he didn't say anything. I think he was just letting me vent and figured we'd discuss the topic another time when I wasn't so drained. But I haven't had a chance to talk with him about it since that night. And honestly, it's not up to Castle whether it will work or not, it's up to me and all I'd need to do is make one phone call and he wouldn't be allowed backing the building."

Lanie looked at her friend like she was crazy, "Would you really do that to him?"

"To keep this from happening again I would." Kate glanced back at Castle's empty chair; her heart constricting thinking that he would never sit there again, but at least she knew he was would be safe.

"And you really think it would work? You really think he would just stop following you just because you told him it was for his own good? Don't you understand that man would do anything to protect you, to be with you? You know it tore him up when you pushed him away when he looked into your mom's case." Kate looked up as her friend brought up an event from nearly two years ago. "You never told me why he told you about looking into it; it was because there were other's killed just like your mom and then when you started going out with Demming. Everyone saw how that affected him, well just about everyone." Lanie gave Kate that 'everyone but you' look. "Honey he walked away that day because he wanted you to be happy, you hadn't told him about breaking up with Demming and he just wanted to be out of the way of your chance at being happy. That's all he's ever wanted for you Kate, for you to be happy. And to be totally truthful, if he thought it would truly make you happy if he never stepped foot inside this building again, I believe he would walk away and never look back, no matter what it did to him."

Lanie watched as the realization of what she was saying sunk in. Kate sat there remembering the times Castle had done those little things, like saying he was leaving for the summer to finish his book. He had been removing himself from her life just like Esposito had so purposely pointed out; he wasn't shadowing her to see her with other men. If she had been paying attention back then she would have seen it, that even then he was putting her first, wanting her to be happy regardless of how he felt. He had never asked anything of her, never forced her to make a choice that she wasn't ready to make. In his own way he had been everything she had ever wanted in a man, but she had been determined not to see it.

"I don't want to lose him, but I can't have him shadowing me anymore." Kate spoke softly.

"Is that Detective Kate Beckett talking or is that just Kate Beckett talking?" Lanie asked.

"I honestly don't know Lanie; I just don't know what to do anymore. Being a cop is so much a part of my life that I'm afraid if I cut him out of this part then I'd never see him again and I don't know if I could live with that, but I know I wouldn't be able to live with it if my job got him killed." Kate looked her friend in the eyes, "I just don't know what to do."

Lanie stood, "Well how about this, right now we go get us something to eat and try to figure out exactly how we can keep writer boy around without him being put in danger. Then tomorrow you can go talk to him. I know you've been avoiding him and he's probably thinking you're mad at him for what happened and as much as you are blaming yourself, I'm sure he's blaming himself just as much. See you both are perfect for each other, both want to take the blame for things that aren't your fault."

Kate nodded as she stood, grabbing her coat and purse, "How long has everyone known, when neither of us seemed to?"

Lanie smiled a big smile as she looped her arm through Kate's, making their way toward the lift. "Honey I started taking bets on that very first case. The way he didn't listen to you, the way he made a point of doing little things just to see your reaction. He was intrigued by you from the start; you didn't fall all over him like most women did so you became a mystery to him, and everyday since he's been trying to figure you out. But with you, it took a couple cases before I saw how you would bait him, just to get him to react and the little things you told me you were teasing him with, though you would never admit it at the time, you liked having him around." Lanie smiled slightly as she patted Kate's arm, "Just do me a favor, when you do talk to him, give him a chance too, as bad as this has affected you, I'm sure he's dealing with a hell of a lot more."


	19. Chapter 19

The Castle is Breached  
Chapter 18  
Disclaimer: See chapter one

Upon returning to his office Rick took a seat in one of the lounge chairs, picking up the brown paper bag that Esposito had brought him. Opening it he reached in and pulled out the blue Kevlar vest with the word 'WRITER' written across the front and back. Castle stared at it a minute, remembering the day he had gotten the item. At first it was just for show, he never thought he would actually come that close to getting shot at, but it was later during the case with the voodoo and missing forged passport that he'd actually been in a gun battle that he thought it might not have been a good idea to get the vest, he didn't think he'd ever want to be in that situation again. Then he reasoned that at least he'd have something standing between him and a bullet if it ever happened again.

Running his hand over the front of the vest, his fingers found the hole in the middle of the 'W', a memory of lying on his back and feeling his finger finding that hole came back to him. Rick felt his heart rate increase as the memory of what Esposito told him started to come back. He remembered the stained ceiling, the muffled sound of gunshots, the pain that shot across his chest as he tried to sit up. He remembered not being able to take a deep breath because of the pain, then the fear in Kate's face when she realized he had been hit.

Slowly he ran his hand over the writing before turning the vest around; a large, almost black stain covered nearly the entire inside portion of the front panel. His mind seemed to go blank as he looked at the spot, that was his blood, blood he never realized he was losing until Kate's hand had slipped between his chest and the vest. The memory of her hand covered in red flashed in his mind, his vision narrowed some as his hands started to shake. Flipping the vest again he looked at the back panel, the dark stain again discolored the deep blue of the vest. Closing his eye's he let the vest slip from his fingers, the fearful face of Kate Beckett filled his mind as bits and pieces of his memory continued to filter back, she had begged him to stay awake. He had tired to listen to her, tried to do what she was pleading with him to do, but even as her image faded and her voice seemed to come from a great distance, he never fully realized he had been dying, not until now with his head held in his hand, as undeniable proof of just how close he had come was lying at his feet.

It was close to midnight when Alexis made it in from her date with Ashley. Her actual curfew was midnight, but she always made it a point to get in with plenty of time to spare. The loft was dark except for a faint light coming from her father's office. Making her way across the room she noticed the door was closed, she glanced through the glass partition that served as a wall and display shelf. She could just make out her dad sitting in one of the lounge chairs that sat in the corner of the room. Knocking lightly she went to open the door but found it locked. She looked at it puzzled, as if it was her imagination then tried it again, the handle still wouldn't move, "Dad?" Alexis called quietly. When her father didn't answer she called out a little louder, going back to look through the glass, "Dad? Are you okay?"

Alexis was starting to get scared when it took another minute for him to answer. "I'm fine, Sweetheart, I just…I need some time to think." His voice was just barely loud enough to hear through the closed door, but it did nothing to ease the worry the teen had for her father.

"Please open the door, you're scaring me." The young girl had only ever heard her father's tone sound so defeated a few times in her life and those times usually were a prelude to a dark period. Those times were the only times in her life that she could remember he father being withdrawn, even from her.

She watched as her dad stood, making his way slowly across the room. She stepped back as he opened the door. Standing there a second the teen took in the tired, exhausted form of her father before stepping forward putting her arms around him. She felt him return the hug, "I'm okay pumpkin, I just really need some time to myself." Alexis felt her father kiss her on top of the head before he softly spoke again, "Can I ask you something?"

Alexis pulled back, not sure what was coming. "Sure." She wasn't able to describe the look that crossed her father's face as he pulled back some.

"Do you want me to stop?" He watched as his daughter tried to figure out where the conversation was going.

The teen knew what her father was asking, but wasn't exactly sure how to answer. Taking a moment to gather her thoughts Alexis pulled her dad toward the living room, both of them taking a seat on the couch. "Do I want you to stop what?" She wanted to make sure she was answering the right question.

She watched as her father ran a hand over his tired face, "Do you want me to stop following Beckett around?"

Alexis knew she had to be very careful with what she said as her father would never deny her request, no matter how it affected him. "Dad, the day Detective Beckett came and got me at school was the first time it ever occurred to me something could really happen to you and that terrified me more than anything." She reached out and took his hand. "I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe all I could think about was this couldn't be happening, we had plans and you never back out of plans we make. When we finally got to see you, I kept telling myself that it wasn't you lying there, because my dad was never that still, never that…God dad you looked so vulnerable and you never look like that. All I wanted you to do was wake up and put your arms around me and make me feel safe, tell me it was just a nightmare that you could chase away with some funny story like you did when I was little, but all I could do was try to hold your hand and watch that machine breathe for you. I've never been more terrified in my life."

Rick watched as tears formed in his daughter's eyes, tears forming in his own as he watched the pain that passed over his little girl's face as she described how she felt seeing him in the hospital, "Alexis…" He whispered, but she shook her head as she ran her hand over the back of her father's, still clutched in her smaller one.

"I don't know if you know it or not, but I snuck back into the ICU, I had to see you and the doctor wasn't letting us back because you were running a fever and they were switching medicines to see if it would help. But I had to see you; Grams and Detective Beckett were asleep so when the nurse turned her back I snuck in." Alexis chuckled a little, "The whole time I kept thinking you'd get a kick out me breaking a rule." More tears fell as she continued, "I was in the room when you had that seizure." The teen looked up at her father, his face paling some as tears escaped his eyes at the thought of her watching that happen. "That's when I really thought you were going to…, I thought I'd lost you and I couldn't handle that. I don't know if Grams told you, but I ended up passing out after seeing that, when I woke up I honestly thought you had left me alone."

"God Alexis, I'm so sorry." Rick reached over and pulled his daughter to him. "I'm so sorry."

After a few minutes of just taking comfort in the feel of her dad's arms around her, making her feel safe, Alexis pulled back and looked at her father, "I know if I asked you to stop following Detective Beckett around you would stop, but I also know how much it would hurt you." The young girl saw a strange look cross her father's face.

"What do you mean?" Rick asked his daughter, there was no way she could have realized how much he cared for the detective he had been following around.

"Dad I know you like her, a lot. Gram says she thinks you are actually in love. I just know since you've been around her, you're happier, well except when she is seeing someone else, then you seem depressed and yes I know when you tried to get back with Gina last year you were doing it as a distraction because Detective Beckett was seeing that other detective." Alexis paused, "I think with what happened, she realized how much she cares about you and if there is even a chance you two could make a go at it, I can't ask you to stop seeing her. What happened to you scared me to death, but dad I want you to be happy and when you're around her you're happy. Just promise me that you'll rethink the whole following her into situations where there's a chance of you getting hurt again, I don't want to have to ever go through something like that again." Alexis leaned back into her father, his arms tightening around her.

"I promise and thank you." Rick kissed the top of his daughter's head.

"For what?" Alexis asked, still held close by her father.

"For being you, for being honest. How'd I get such a wonderful daughter?" Rick asked.

"Lucky I guess." Alexis replied as she pulled back, seeing the hint of a smile cross her father's face.

"In more ways than one. You go on up to bed, I've got some things I need to figure out." When his daughter gave him a stern look he continued, "I promise I'll turn in soon, I just need some time, okay Kiddo."

As they both stood, Alexis reached up and kissed her dad's cheek, "Just make sure you do, sleeping in those chairs will just make you sore. Night Dad."

"'night pumpkin." Rick watched as his little girl made her way up the stairs before he returned to his office, he had a lot to figure out and wasn't exactly sure where to start.


	20. Chapter 20

The Castle is Breached  
Chapter 19  
Disclaimer: See chapter one

_The sun was so bright it almost hurt her eyes. As she walked closer to the gathering of people all she could make out was a sea of black. Heads were bowed as quiet sobs could be heard. Her own tears falling soundless to the grass beneath her feet as she stopped. Looking to her left she saw striking red hair falling across a black overcoat, Alexis Castle was being comforted by a grief-stricken Martha Rodgers._

_To her right she saw Kevin Ryan, his paleness a sharp contrast to the ebony suit he wore, his fiancée Jenny offering silent comfort. Javier Esposito had his arms held tight around a crying Lanie Parish, the medical examiner's dark attire so different from her normally brighter colors. Roy Montgomery stood stoic, her pillar of strength through her darkest times, but this time even his presence was of no comfort. The only one who would have been able to comfort Katherine Beckett was no where in sight._

_The whispered word 'Always' could barely be heard on the light breeze that caressed her face. Closing her eye's a moment she could almost imagine his hand on her cheek, telling her everything was all right, that nothing had changed. However the emptiness in her heart told the true story. The story for which there would be no happy ending, no waking the next morning to a new day with a fresh start and a hot cup of coffee on her desk. Everyday from this one on would be cold, dark and hollow since he was no longer there to brighten the day of those around him._

_No more farfetched stories while searching for their suspect, no more fatherly worries about the teenage daughter he was so afraid of losing to the world of adulthood. No more subtle looks across the desk as he watched her fill out paperwork. Her life from here on out would be void of light, void of joy, void of the child-like wonderment he would bring to her life. As she slowly raised her head and her eye's met the cold, gray granite that sat before her, Katherine Beckett knew her only 'Always' would be the broken heart she would carry until the end of her days as she read the bold, black words:_

_Richard Alexander Rodgers (Castle)_

_1971-2011_

_Beloved Father, Son, Friend_

_And Partner-Always_

Kate Beckett sat upright in bed; her room was dark as she fumbled for the light on the night stand, the darkness hanging on her like the darkness from the nightmare that had plagued her every night since the shooting. The soft glow of the bedside lamp did little to take away the crushing feeling in her chest as she ran her hands over her tear-stained face. Taking a few minutes to calm herself, she shoved back the blankets that seemed to be smothering her and put her bare feet on the cold floor of her bedroom. Sitting another minute she tried to clear her mind of the horrific images as she reminded herself that Castle was alive and healing at home, that he hadn't been lost to her.

Standing she slowly made her way toward the bathroom, the harsh light telling the story she had been trying to deny, her paler than normal skin tone, the dark lines under her eye's, the fearful expression that looked back at her from the mirror told her the truth. This was not something that she could just push away into the little box inside her head that she hide all the horrific memories of her life and the emotions that went with them. Her mother's murder had built the box and for many years she was never able to contain the emotions that came with that traumatic event, but eventually she had. And since the day she had shut that away she had only opened the box a few times, to push in more of her feelings.

For many years the lock held, through her training to be a cop, then a detective, facing the worst that people could do to each other as she fought to bring closure to family's even as her own was never granted that luxury. Then he started to worm his way into her life, first as he shamelessly flirted with her during their first meeting, then as he wiggled his way into that very first case. Scaring her to death that very first time as the murder suspect in that case held a gun on him, using him as a shield. Afterward, when she had walked away from him in that alley she never expected to see him again. But fate was a bitch when she wanted to be and the very next day he became her shadow and her his muse.

She had tried her damnedest to not like him, to keep him at arms length, but it didn't work. He slowly started working through her defenses to where she expected him to be there, to be a step behind her, finishing her sentences, seeing her world from a new angle. He had rattled that box when he had looked into her mother's case. She pushed him from her life for that infraction, but again fate threw that plan out the window as she allowed him back in, first into her life, then in time, into her heart.

But she was Detective Kate Beckett and she would not, could not accept what everyone around her had been hinting at, she was falling for him and him for her. She had denied it until the moment his heart stopped beating. It was then that box was blown to pieces and she had to face what she had been denying, she was in love with Richard Castle, but she just didn't know how to deal with that emotion so she pushed again. She had avoided him since that day in the hospital and by the look of herself in the mirror, it was a strategy, which Lanie had so blatantly pointed out, that was not working.

Walking back into her room she glanced at the alarm clock; 4:57 am. Kate decided she couldn't wait any longer; the tentacles of the nightmare were not shaken off so quickly this morning, she needed to see him, to see that he was alive and she needed to see him now. Quickly throwing on a pair of jeans and an NYPD sweatshirt, she grabbed her keys and rushed out the door.

Alexis Castle slowly made her way down the stairs as the knocking at the door became more incessant. The teen glanced around the loft, her father was usually a light sleeper and she was surprised to not see him stumbling from his room at the sound. Looking at the clock across the room it read; 5:21 am. "I'm coming" she called out as she reached the door, peering through the peep-hole the younger girl pulled it open revealing the exhausted, anguish, almost frightened face of Kate Beckett. "Kate?" the teen asked, "Is something wrong? Are you okay?"

When Alexis opened the door, Kate started to second guess her early morning decision, "I'm sorry Alexis…" Kate stepped through the front door, stopping a few steps inside, "I know this is going to sound crazy, I mean it sounds crazy to me and I just drove all the way over here and woke you up, I'm so sorry for that…" Beckett ran her hand through her hair as she turned around some, looking around the loft, "But I…God it sounds nuts…"

Alexis stepped up to the rambling woman; she had never seen Kate like this as she took a hold of the older woman's hands. "What is it? You're starting to scare me a little."

The teen watched an array of emotions cross the detective's face before an almost pleading look finally settled in the woman's eyes. "This sounds crazy, but I…I had a nightmare and I know it's silly and I could have just called or waited until later, but…I need to see your dad."

Kate watched as a small smile settled on the teen's face, one she had seen the girl give her father when she was being understanding to his overprotective ways. "It's okay, I'll go wake him." Beckett watched as Alexis crossed the room, disappearing down a short hallway off the main room.

Kate took a moment to look around the darkened living space, a faint glow from a few baseboard lights gave the room a calm feeling that she desperately wanted after the many nightmare filled nights she'd had over the last several weeks. Walking toward the couch Kate saw Castle's laptop on the coffee table with a few legal pads next to it, the visible page showed a few lines of writing with bold, dark lines scribbling them out.

Beckett looked up as she heard Alexis reenter the room, "He's not in his bed." Worry clouded the younger girls face as she glanced toward her father's closed office door. "He promised he wouldn't sleep in there." Alexis said softly as she made her way toward the door, Kate just a few steps behind her. The teen put her hand on the handle and turned, silently praying she wouldn't find it locked again, like it had been the night before. A hint of relief flooded her as the knob turned and the door opened. Looking at Kate Alexis gave her a relieved smile, "Dad locked it last night, scared me for a few minutes when he wouldn't open the door. He's been a little withdrawn since he got home." Quietly Alexis and Kate stepped into the room.

Rick was leaning back in the chair, his head tilted a little to the left, one hand resting on his chest, the other resting on the arm of the chair. As Kate took in his appearance he still looked pale, his face a little drawn from the exhaustion she was sure he was still dealing with. Alexis's whispered voice drew Beckett's attention to her, "Dad's having a hard time with this, I mean I know we all are, but he just seems…different."

"Different?" Kate asked as she glanced back at the man she was finding herself so afraid of losing.

"He's not writing. No matter what Dad always, always writes, even if it's little nonsense stories, but since he's been home I'll see him write something, then scribble it out. He'll sit for hours just staring at the blank screen of his laptop." Alexis stepped closer to her dad's sleeping form, kneeling down she reached out and touched his arm. "And he's not talking much."

Kate couldn't help the slight surprise that crossed her face. In all the time she's known Rick Castle he was hardly ever quiet. The teen looked up at the older woman, "Last night he asked me if I wanted him to stop following you around."

The detective couldn't think for a moment, up to this point she had been so sure that she didn't want Castle anywhere near the 12th again, but as Alexis revealed that he had actually been questioning whether he should return, it stirred something inside her that scared her. Was he really going to remove himself from her life? Kate looked at the teen and asked the question that she was afraid to hear the answer for, because she knew if his daughter asked him to stop doing something she was absolutely sure that Rick Castle would stop. "What did you say?"

Alexis reached up and pushed a few stray hairs from her father's forehead; he turned his head slightly into the touch, but remained asleep. "I told him that I had never been more terrified in my life then when you came and got me. I told him how all I wanted was for him to wake up and hold me and make everything better like he use to when I was little when I saw him lying in that hospital bed." Tears filled the teen's eyes as she looked at her father, the memories still to fresh to ignore. "I told him after that seizure I was sure that…that he had left me alone." The young girl before her took a deep-breath as she stood and faced Kate, "But I told him that I couldn't ask him to stop doing something that made him so happy. My dad changed after he met you, changed for the good. Before he would sometimes play into those playboy images that all those magazines wrote about him, but he was never happy. He tried to hide it from me, but I could always tell even when I let him think he was fooling me. I know he likes you, and being around you makes him happy, I just asked him to try and not put himself in a situation where he might get hurt again."

Beckett stood there looking at the young girl before her, she was always amazed at the way the teen thought, for one still so young she had a tremendous grasp of others thoughts, their feelings, Rick was truly lucky to have such a wonderful daughter. "Castle's lucky to have you for a daughter, you know that right?" Kate watched the teen blush a little as she ducked her head, "And I'm lucky to know you too. Thank you." Beckett stepped up and pulled the teen into a hug. "I promise to do everything possible to not let him ever get hurt again." Pulling back Kate saw the acceptance of that promise in the teen's gaze, "Is it okay if I sit in here a while?"

Alexis looked at her father still sleeping, surprisingly sound, in the chair then back to Kate. "I think it would do him good to see you when he wakes up. I'm gonna go lay back down a while, with the weekend and all I don't normally get up this early."

The teen chuckled quietly as a slightly guilty look crossed Kate's face. "Sorry again about that."

"Don't be…" Alexis answered as she walked toward the door, "You know where everything is if you need something. Make yourself at home."

Beckett watched the teen leave the room before crossing to the other lounge chair adjacent to the one Castle was sleeping in. Sitting down she turned herself so she could see Rick's sleeping face in the faint light that was coming through the opened door. As she turned in the chair her foot hit something on the floor, leaning forward she reached down and picked up the item. Even before seeing it, the texture and weight told her what it was, conformation coming as the dim light reflected off the white lettering. It was Castle's vest. Tears filled her eyes as the memory of the last time she had seen it filled her mind, running her hand over the letters, finding the frayed hole that had almost caused her to lose him, she took a shaky breath. Laying it in her lap she returned her gaze to the man sleeping just a few feet from her as her hand absently ran back and forth over the damaged material.


	21. Chapter 21

The Castle is Breached  
Chapter 20  
Disclaimer: See chapter one

_A/N: Sorry it took me longer than expected to post again, my modem died on my computer so I had to wait for a new one. Got one more chapter after this one. Thanks again to everyone who has read, alerted, favorited and reviewed. You guys are the best!-Montez_

The next time Kate Beckett's eyes opened the early morning sun was shining through the windows of Rick's office. As she shifted in the chair, the weight of the object in her lap reminded her of why she was at Castle's place so early, the memory of the nightmare causing an involuntary shiver to go through her body. Pushing herself up straighter in the chair, she had never meant to fall asleep in, she glanced toward Castle, only to be met by the piercing blue gaze of his. "Morning", he said softly.

"Morning", she replied, feeling somewhat awkward at the fact he had caught her sleeping in his office. "How long have you been awake?"

"About an hour." He gave a hint of a smile. It warmed Kate's heart to see a glimpse of the Castle she'd grown to care so much about. "Image my surprise when I woke up this morning to find a beautiful woman sleeping just feet from me." Castle's eyes filled with concern as he looked at the detective, noticing the item she held in her lap, "Are you okay, Kate?"

After being lost in the moment of just seeing him alive, pushing away the memory of her nightmare, Kate stumbled with her words as she laid the Kevlar vest on the floor against the chair. "Yea, I just…it was early and…I didn't want to wake you…so Alexis…" Beckett started to feel the fragile control she had on her emotions start to crumble, so she quickly stood, crossing the room away from Castle. Looking out the window she fought to gather her thoughts enough to put together a coherent sentence.

Without her realizing, he had followed her. "Kate?" Startled she turned and stepped back a little.

Closing her eyes at the sound of his voice, she willed the tears not to fall. It was the voice of the man who could make her want to slap him and hug him all in the same minute. The voice of the man who had become a calming presence in the chaos that was her life. The voice of the man who would listen to her, never judging. It was the memory of that voice fading, cracking as he pleaded for her to look after his daughter as he struggled to stay conscious after being shot that was battering her defenses. It was the voice she feared she'd never hear again as he stopped breathing in her arms. It was that voice that broke the levee that had been chipped away at every night as the nightmare of his death plagued her mind. Unable to contain her emotions any longer she turned and faced him. "I had a nightmare…and I needed to see you…to remind myself that you…that you…" Her voice gave out as emotions clogged her throat.

Wordlessly Rick stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the woman breaking before him. In all the time since the day he had met Detective Kate Beckett, he had only seen her break a few times, but he had never been the cause. Silence settled over the room as he felt the faint tremors that shook her body while she silently cried against him. Little did he know that the words of comfort that he was about to speak would set off the powder keg of emotions that Kate had been barely keeping under control. "Shh, it's all right."

The change was instantaneous as Kate pushed herself back, out of his grasp. The painful, raw emotions were quickly veiled by anger and fear. "How the hell can you say that?" Beckett's voice rose as Castle's shocked expression looked back at her. "How could you say it will be all right? It hasn't been all right for a long time! Ever since the day I met you, you've found a way to worm your way into ever aspect of my life. First my job, then my mother's case, my private life, everywhere I turn I see you standing there."

Kate started pacing as Rick continued to look on. "My life was so much easier before I met you; I'd get up, go to work, catch the bad guy, then go home. I didn't have someone asking if I was okay, or bringing me coffee or trying to fix my life, a life that wasn't broke…"

It was then that something snapped in Rick as a fiery look, nearly matching Kate's, overtook his face. When she paused to breathe he fired his own volley, "A life that wasn't broke? Being a cop 24/7 was draining the life out of you, even back then I could see it. All I tried to do was get you to see there was more to life than the next case. You had your life in this neat little space and any disruption would set you off kilter. But God Kate all I wanted to do was get you to see there was more going on around you than murders. Your perfect world revolved around it, was consumed by it, it was slowly consuming you. I couldn't stand by and watch this wonderful, extraordinary woman I'd met be pulled under and drowned by that life!"

"It wasn't your life to fix Rick, I didn't want it fixed. I didn't want someone in my life to show me there was more out there. I didn't want someone getting too close because people who get too close, people that I let in and care about end up dead!" Kate froze at the words that had just spilled out; she hadn't wanted it to come out like that.

But Rick didn't stop, "So you push people away because you're afraid they will leave you? Not everyone one that comes into your life will hurt you Kate, not everyone who you care about will leave you…"

Before he could say another word Kate looked at him, tears streaming down her face and almost whispered. "But you did."

That stopped Rick cold as he watched her begin to crumble again. Stepping forward he spoke softly, "Kate, I'm right here."

She shook her head slightly as she ran her hands through her hair, her broken voice raising just a little as haunted eye's looked at him, "You died Rick, you died in front of me and I couldn't stop it. Do you know what that's like to have the one person you have come to count on, to trust with everything, die in front of you and not be able to do a damn thing about it. In that instant, when I felt your heart stop, I realized how much I needed you in my life, how much you meant to me. The one person that could have comforted me in that moment was the one person that I watched slip away." Tears continued to fall as she pleaded with him to understand.

"I'm sorry." He started as he took a step toward her. He stopped as she shook her head.

"It's not your fault, it's mine." She stepped past him, going to where she had placed his damaged vest on the floor. "I should have put a stop to it when you showed me this." She held the item up. "But I became careless. I fell into the belief that as long as you stayed behind us, behind me, nothing would happen to you, but I was wrong and you died because of it." Her gaze dropped to the hole in the vest, "You died."

"But I'm here now, a little slower than normal, but I'm here…" Rick crossed the room, stopping in front of Kate, reaching up he took the vest from her, dropping it in the chair, then reaching back he took her shaking hands in his. "Kate look at me," He waited until her green eye's met his. "If you don't want me to follow you anymore, I will stop right now. I'll never step foot back in the 12th again, but understand I can't stand to see you like this. Yes my heart stopped, but you saved me…you took care of my daughter for me. Through her and you I'm beginning to fully understand what this has done to the people in my life, to the people I care about. I want you to be happy Kate, tell me what I need to do to make you happy?"

Kate looked into those eyes that she had, at times, found herself getting lost in. She saw the pleading in them, waiting for her to tell him what to do. Taking a deep breath she replied, "Don't die on me again." She whispered as she let herself lean into him, his arms coming around her, making her fell safe, secure. Glancing up at him she gave a hint of a watery smile, "and stay in the damn car when I tell you to." Rick let out a small laugh at that, realizing that she was giving him the opportunity to continue being a part of her life.

Several minutes passed as they fell into a comfortable silence, taking comfort in being in each other's arms. The noise of someone in the kitchen drew their attention as Castle glanced out his office door to see his daughter moving around in the kitchen. Pulling back slightly he looked down into the somewhat calmer face of Beckett, "So, now that that's out of the way, could I interest you in some breakfast?" He smiled slightly.

Kate couldn't help but smile back at his expectant expression, "Breakfast sounds good, then later we'll go over the new ground rules for when you come back to the precinct."

Separating as they moved to leave the room Rick smiled at her, "You know I don't like to play by the rules."

As Alexis turned to smile at them from across the room, Kate stepped in front of Rick with a mischievous grin on her face, adding, "Awh, yes, but if you don't play by the new rules, I'll handcuff you to the car again and this time I'll make sure to take your wallet with me." Rick laughed out loud as they approached the kitchen and the start of a new day.


	22. Chapter 22

The Castle is Breached  
Chapter 21  
Disclaimer: See chapter one

_A/N: Well this is it. We finally made it. My first every multi-chapter Castle fic. It's been an awesome ride, with an awesome bunch of readers. You guys broke my record on story alerts(almost 100) and have kept me going with the wonderful reviews. Some will be disappointed that I didn't include those three little words, but this is a pre-finale story and they just hadn't come to that yet in my world. (though I so hope Kate heard him and remembers-I was in tears). Anyway I may attempt a slightly AU version on a scene from the finale, not really sure, but we'll see. I've loved this journey and you guys have made it so worth the ride. I wish I could pass out hugs to everyone who's read this, so for a minute I am group-hugging everyone. _

_I hope if any of my readers have been in the path of the terrible storms that have been battering the mid-west that you guys have been spared and have stayed safe. My neck of the woods is in the cross-hairs tonight. I hope God keeps watch over those who've been affected already and know you are in my thoughts and prayers and that Gods keeps watch over those of us who are in the path. _

_Thanks again guys you all are awesome!-Montez_

Epilogue:

Two months to the day Richard Castle had walked out of the precinct he returned to the 12th, coffee tray in hand. When the elevator doors opened he was greeted by applause, he glanced at his feet a moment, slightly embarrassed by the attention. Yes he was use to attention, being a world renowned crime novelist, but the people waiting for him now where his friends, his family.

As he stepped from the lift Lanie came forward and pulled him into a hug, "Good to have you back Castle. Kate told me all about the new rules and if you do anything to upset her again, just remember I have access to some very sharp objects and know how to make it look like an accident." She smiled.

"I'll remember that." He laughed as the M.E. took a step back.

Captain Roy Montgomery was next as he stepped up to shake Castle's hand, "Glad to see you back Castle, I know the place hasn't been the same without you."

"Thanks Captain, I'm just glad to have everything getting back to normal." Rick responded as Montgomery released his hand and stepped back.

Esposito stepped up, taking Castle's hand and pulling him into a manly hug with a sharp pat on his back. "Glad to finally have you back. We've tried to fill the void, but our stories are never as good as yours man."

"Glad to be back and I may just have a couple new stories up my sleeve." Rick grinned as Javier moved aside allowing Ryan to come forward.

Kevin took Castle's hand and like Esposito pulled him into a hug, but held it just a second longer. Several emotions crossed the younger detective's face as he pulled back and looked at the man who had become a good friend, "Glad to see you better Castle."

Rick held onto the handshake a moment longer as he responded, "Thank you Ryan, for everything. If it weren't for you and Beckett I wouldn't be here right now, so thank you." Both men cleared their throats to hide the emotion that passed between them. Castle owed his life to Kevin and Kate and it was something he would never forget.

"Just don't do it again, okay." Ryan laughed as he took a step back, stopping next to Esposito.

"Don't plan on it." Castle smiled as he turned and found the person he had come back for.

Kate Beckett was standing behind everyone. Over the last month her and Castle had started to spend more time together. It was time spent getting to know one another outside the 12th, time to explore their options as to where they would go from there. They would take things slow, though not as slow as it had taken them to realize and verbalize how they felt about one another. Kate wanted her 'one and done' and Rick wanted to do whatever it took to make Kate happy.

"Hi." Castle said as he stopped in front of her, handing her her usual cup of coffee.

"Hi." Beckett replied, taking the familiar cup as she let Castle kiss her on the cheek.

"You sure you're ready to have me back?" Rick smiled as they started toward her desk.

Reaching it Kate sat down and watched as Rick took his chair next to her desk. She couldn't help the smile that overtook her face to finally have him back in his spot. "Are you sure you're ready to be back?"

Before he could answer, Esposito put down his phone and called across the room to Kate, "Yo Beckett, we've got one, Central Park West."

"Okay, let's go." Standing to grab her jacket and keys she started for the elevator, Rick close behind. Once the doors closed, Beckett faced him, "Well?"

"Murder, mystery, a real life 'who done it?' of course I'm ready." Rick replied, rubbing his hands together enthusiastically.

Kate couldn't help but laugh out loud as the mischievous glint flashed in his eye's as he answered. Yea he was ready to be back and she was more than happy to have him back as they exited the elevator and made their way toward the car and a new case.


End file.
